I have had to lay some ground rules down with my own folks who kept dropping in anytime of the day, early or after dinner etc.
Hard converstaion to have but had to be done!
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08-05-2013 13:51 #11
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08-05-2013 18:05 #12Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
Here's a tip I had to share..If you want space, don't tell anyone when you go into labour. I had to call my dad and cancel a dinner date, when he complained I explained that it wasn't in my control and my waters had broken. I asked him not to say anything to anyone and that I'd call him if there was any news.... I ended up with a room full of visitors before I even had the placenta out! I later lost it at the midwives for letting them in and poor dad ( who was obviously to excited to keep quiet) got a good serve too!
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08-05-2013 19:39 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I think I might just do the text thing and let people now he has been born and we will tell them when they can visit.
08-05-2013 20:07 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
I was at birthcentre for DS's birth and we went home about 8 hrs after the birth. I surprised my mum picking her up at the airport and she stayed for 2 weeks. SIL and her 2 young kids came to visit that day. Me, bubs and DH were in bed when she got there and I didn't get up until I felt like it. My mum was there so she could do the entertaining. DH's parents came the next day. A friend came to visit a week or so after the birth and she turned up a few minutes early and I was literally only wearing a pair of knickers! TBH I didn't really care I just handed her the baby and went and got changed. I would actually say in the first couple of days my son slept a lot and it was once my milk came in that it was harder to have visitors. Pro tip buy a few maternity bras 2-3 sizes bigger than at the end of your pregnancy. When people say engorgment think 2 watermelons stuck to your chest! And milk dripping constantly out of them. Shopping for bras with leaky engorged breasts with a newborn is a real challenge!
Personally I think if you're feeling up to it visitors in the first couple of days is probably easier then avoid anyone who you don't mind showing your boobs to for a couple of weeks until you've got the hang of feeding. Newborns do feed a lot but they also do sleep a lot unfortunately it's not very predictable.
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Last edited by Noty; 08-05-2013 at 20:16.
08-05-2013 20:08 #15
I am already freaking out! It will be our first and I feel like its all going to be a little overwhelming with Xmas!
Last edited by JungleMum; 03-03-2014 at 14:03.
08-05-2013 20:29 #16
I agree that it will be different for everyone and personally don't have experience being home so soon.
However, I found straight after the birth was the best time. We were on an adrenaline rush from the arrival of DS and just wanted to share him with our friends and family! We were buzzing but most people waited to come.
All my visitors turned up on day 3, my hormones had plummeted, I was even more exhausted, no milk had come in yet and DS was screaming/feeding/screaming round the clock! Needless to say I felt close to tears and just wanted to be left alone with DH and DS to blunder our way through in private. 😢
The day after that DS was under UV lights, so feeds were quite stressful as he was only allowed out for a limited time and was hard to settle under them. Again had loads of visitors. 😖
Next time I will be asking people to come on day of arrival or 1 week later at our house. 👍
08-05-2013 22:05 #17
08-05-2013 22:20 #18
08-05-2013 22:46 #19
At antenatal class tonight we did a tour of the labour ward and one girl asked "so where can everyone wait while I'm in labour?"
(DH leaned over and whispered to me 'at home!')
The midwife doing the tour very diplomatically said there was a small area at the end of the corridor where a second support person could wait if you had two people who were going to share the role, but others were encouraged not to visit until you were settled back on the post natal ward.
This crazy girl was like "but what about the grandparents and family?"
Seriously?!? She obviously plans on them coming straight in. Crazy!
09-05-2013 04:22 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Im due to have my first in 9 weeks.
From the very beginning, my ruling has been (and ive had many a stern chat with my parents and hubbies parents on this matter... im not budging)
No sleep over / live in visitors for 2 weeks. ( all of my family and his need to travel and expected to sleep in my home / treat my home as a hotel BEFORE the birth and post birth... I dont think so!
You can visit, On our request. We will notify immediate family (both sets of parents) via phone call ... a few hours after birth. We are NOT advising anyone of me going to the hospital.. My mum budged on she wont drive 2hrs to my home... IF i text her to atleast say its happening. Which i agreed to. My mum got pushy and told me she would wait outside my room... then she was coming into meet my child 10 mins post birth... supposedly 10 mins was enough bonding. I told her, if she drove up ... id have the nurses keep her out. lol I want hours ... with MY baby before we play pass the parcel with him.
We will send the generic text out when we are ready... on that text will be "will advise when we are ready for visitors". That means .. do NOT come to me. I will tell you when im ready. That could be 12hrs, That could be 72hrs ... keep posted.
Hubby is 100% with me .. at ignoring phones. We wont be pressured into being forced visiting upon just because it suits the visitors. I refuse to have my boobs out in front of my family, his father, my father etc...
Yes i understand they all have a 2hr drive to attend my home to visit .. but i just had a baby!!!! I have rights to ya know.
Finally. Do NOT play pass the parcel with my son. He is ours .. we are not having everyone coming to visit at once. Its overwhelming for him and me.
My mum demanded as its her first grandchild ... she wants uninterrupted bonding time with him... aka not sharing him with everyone else. I reminded her... he is MY son. I get the bonding time ... She can have a cuddle .. but hes actually MY child!
Families can be such a handful ... But im quite tough on my rules. Its quite simple. Dont abide by them ... you simply wont be talked to until I get the time / patience. I deserve respect.
As for other peoples bored kids, passing my son around for kids to hold ... no thankyou
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