TTC or Not - Advice Please

[MyBubbaJack]

Hello Everyone,

Im not a usual poster. I normally just lurk, but I think I may need some advice. I am probably over thinking things a little. So here goes.

We want another baby. DS is 3. We have spoken and I was the one who bought it up months ago and DF has finally said stop the pill. Great news for me.... But now I am a little terrified. I am not scared to actually have a baby.

I will have to go back to work after PPL stops. And I know I wont want to work when bubs is 3 months old. I can save up as much annual leave as possible, and try to save through out our pregnancy but I have estimated that will give me, maybe 5 months.

What I guess I am asking is have you been worried about this? Knowing you will have to go back to work. I love my job, I would just feel bad about going back so early. DS was 1 when I went back.

Did it effect your decision on having another baby?

[dancingchipmunk]

Is there anyway you could delay ttc for a bit to put more money aside? Sorry if this isn't helpful, just an idea

[Allymumtobe]

I had exactly this thought. We decided to save use mat leave annual leave and PPL as well as use any extra we had paid off the mortgage to have a repayment "holiday".

[preggasaurus]

You can only do what's right for you, your family and your situation. But, I can give you my opinion. I'd probably wait a bit longer, save as much annual leave as possible. ( Can you negotiate with you'd employer to get more annual each year via salary sacrifice? ) Then, when bubs does arrive, take your paid maternity leave, then take your annual leave at half pay, then use up sick/ carers leave to stay home longer. For example, if you negotiate to get 6 weeks annual leave each year, taken at half pay, that'd be 12 weeks, add that to your maternity leave, you'd have 6 months at home. If you wait a bit longer to conceive, you could bank another few weeks annual, meaning more time with bub.

Of course, you'd have to be a bit frugal with money while on leave, but I found my life with babies to be quite cheap. I rarely bought lunch out, had more time to cook from scratch etc.

Hope you figure out what to do. Personally, when I decided I wanted a baby, I just knew I'd make it work, and I have, both times. There's lots of other things you can do, like saving heaps of money while you are working, but you know that already.

[MyBubbaJack]

Well that was a very sensible and obvious answer I had not thought about dancingchipmunks. We probably could, I mean time is on our side. Although I'm starting to wonder if I am not already pregnant.

I guess the thing for us is that we didn't want to plan a baby, we wanted it to just happen and we would plan from then. We aren't struggling or anything, so it would work out.

But I guess you normally just cant surprisingly fall pregnant on the pill, and well DF's whole family is known to be super fertile. So it would probably happen pretty quickly as soon as we stopped the pill.

I am just worried I am over thinking every single detail now. Probably not to much of a bad thing. But we really want a baby. DF is normally the very sensible, think things through sort of person and he is the one saying that everything will work out ect ect. I'm not usually one to do this much worrying and thinking.

[MyBubbaJack]

Thank you Preggasaurus!

You just reminded me that I can purchase leave through my work. And If I started as soon as I knew I was pregnant I could afford to purchase about 2 months!

I am like you, I want another baby and up until now I knew Id make it work, but I guess there is something in the back of my mind saying 'Are you sure you can make it work for you and your family.'