Absolutely, this one tiny snippet does not mean he is abusive or anything of the sort. Most posters are just asking questions.
DH is different in a bad way around his mum, but I would never have a go at him about it...i would never try and stop him seeing her either or try and put a wedge between them.
The OP needs to ask herself the questions...and, maybe she does act in a not nice way around her family and maybe he is being manipulative.
I believe that partners should support their other half in having friends and relationships outside of just the couple.
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29-04-2013 12:50 #11Senior Member
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29-04-2013 12:50 #12
My bro used to be very diff when he would come and visit the family with his wife and kids. At home he would help her with the kids and treat her really good. But as soon as he was around us he would be cranky, mean to her and not help with the kids at all. He was a young dad and being our younger brother I think that he tried to show us he was a 'man' or something. Plus he would get really tired and moody. His wife didn't like coming to visit us much because of it but she did like us (just not his change). But we would get up him for it and he eventually stopped lol. Now he only acts a little diff - like anyone would.
01-05-2013 10:21 #13
Thanks for the replies everyone sorry for the late reply! He hates them because he heard they apparently said something bad about us to others but I'm not even sure they did! He hated them before this and it makes me think he wants to put distance between us! Once he finally told me what they "said" of they did he told me if I was to go visit them (they live interstate) then he will leave me! I've started to find out if they actually said something or not but not 100% sure yet! I feel like he's just told me to put Distance between us! That makes me so angry and hurt!
01-05-2013 10:26 #14
I agree with the others - I don't act around workmates the same way I would around DP. I act differently according to who I'm with. I think it's fairly natural as fitting in is an important survival skill.
I think it's fair to just acknowledge that everyone does this and just to accept it... unless they turn into a jerk. Some people will turn nasty around certain people, because those people just bring out that nastiness in them. I'm cool with DP being different around his parents... so long as it doesn't hurt me (as in, he doesn't start turning into a jerk because the men in his family treat the women poorly...).
01-05-2013 10:33 #15
Go with your gut. If you think he is trying to isolate you from your family, there is a chance he is.
I know we have only snippets of info, but if my DH told me he would leave me if I visited my family, I'd pack his bags for him. He doesn't have to like your family, but he has to accept they are your family and a part of your life.
Tbh it doesn't sound good to me.
01-05-2013 10:34 #16
I act very differently around my family than if i was just with my partner. My siblings and I just get in these silly giggly crazy moods with each other and we just become.... well, silly! We laugh til our bellies hurt, play around, tease each other (yep, we're all in our 20's haha) so I suppose if my partner didnt like my family they would see me acting like them and it would be annoying.
Could it be because he doesnt like them already, that when he see's you getting along with them and chatty and laughing with them he gets cranky?
01-05-2013 13:56 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
My family is not the best. I have a mixture of criminals (who have seen extended gaol time) and police officers, to hard workers and dirty rotten lay-abouts in my family. But we all talk and all visit each other. If my dp had a problem with them, and he does with a few, my response is that he doesn't have to see them, but he does not have the right to keep me from seeing my family either. Nor can he dictate which family members I see or for how long. My family, my choice.
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01-05-2013 14:47 #18
01-05-2013 15:04 #19
I think be blunt when asking her. Don't beat around the bush. You want her to know what your question is. You need up know the answers.
Sounds like you miss your sister and your relationship.
01-05-2013 15:11 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Out of curiosity, what was allegedly said?
It seems quite an over-reaction if he didn't like them, but didn't stop you from seeing them until this one particular thing was said.
And, tbh, I can think of a few things that would make me go "Right, pick me or your family but if you go visit them, I won't be here when you get back."
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