Closed Thread
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 38
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked
    44
    Reviews
    0
    My ex dh likes to complain to his family that I'm keeping his near 6 year old son from him. He lives in Melbourne I live in SA, he chose to move back to Melbourne, in 4 years he hasn't come over to SA once in that time, yet he expects me to fly to Melbourne with ds to see him. It would cost me $500 on airfares for. Both me and my son, around $600 in accommodation for a week plus extra for food activities etc for me and ds to do when he's no seeing his dad. For some reason my ex can't come to SA for a week to see ds as he apparently can't afford it yet he can go over to Vietnam with his new wife and 2 kids to see her family.

    He thinks that as I'm on centrelink I can afford to spend a months income on going to Melbourne to see him yet he works and can't afford it.

    The funny thing is my ex mil comes over every year for a week to spend time with it and she really enjoys her week with us. She just spent the first week of the school holidays with us and she enjoyed sharing ds bedroom and spending time with ds.

    Ex misses out on all this but that's his choice as he chose to move back interstate and not visit ds. I would take ds to Melbourne to visit him interstate if my ex paid half the cost of a visit but he won't.


    Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
    A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Also littleolive, I really hope you never break up with your partner because you will find reality is a lot different.

    It's easy now to say you both agree with 50% shared care for the kids. But it's completely different when the day comes, and you go from seeing your babies every day to only half a week. Or one week on and one week off. You miss your kids incredibly.

    I absolutely hate having to share care now, through selfish decisions my DH made. I do it for DS1 of course, but constantly resent DH for making me spend less time with my son.
    Well said Pesca.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by littleolive View Post
    My DP was in the exact same situation when his baby was born,
    he had no reason not to have equal time with his newborn baby other than
    his ex wouldn't allow it, far from kidnapping there is nothing the law will do to help/stop one parent from seeing their child, we have our ''pretend'' break up situation planned for for the sake of our kids.
    .
    Oh ok you're looking at it from a bias perspective then. I don't blame his ex for not allowing equal time. I wouldn't and didn't.

    My ex recently moved to Canada. Shows you how seriously he took his responsibility.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:


  5. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Brisbane Bayside
    Posts
    875
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    408
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My ex doesn't spend any time with his son, or even call him on the phone. We've been separated for almost 3 years. He made visits to see us for about 12 months after the separation (I relocated back 'home') but hasn't made proper contact for a very long time. Oh, he sends me texts messages every 6 months to tell me how he's going to call my son for a chat more often but he doesn't call. He sends Christmas and birthday presents and started paying child support late last year. My friend tells me he posts pictures of himself with his older fiancée and her children on his Facebook page, so I guess he's a bit of a dad to some kids... Just not his own. His mother and stepfather have both made concerted efforts to visit with my son in the last 2 years, as is their right. I enjoy these visits. FOB, however, would have to jump through flaming hoops to see my son, and the day he attempts to exercise his rights as the bio father will be very interesting indeed. I've seen a family law solicitor. He doesn't have a hope of gaining access, because he had no demonstrable relationship with my son. The longer he delays contact, the better it is for me. I am very sad that my son doesn't have a relationship with his father but I can't make anyone do anything they don't choose to do. I have a wonderful partner who loves my son as much as he loves his own, and we are expecting a baby and are very secure. My son isn't missing out. His life wouldn't improve if his Bio father made contact. I guess what I'm trying to say is that bio fathers rights shouldn't be the same across the board, and the OP needs to know exactly what the bio father wants to do to be part of their life before she can plan anything about custody.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Marepoppin For This Useful Post:

    Stiflers Mom  (29-04-2013)

  7. #25
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gippsland
    Posts
    14,939
    Thanks
    1,246
    Thanked
    4,080
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by littleolive View Post
    i find it so interesting and sad that so many women have the idea in their heads that they are allowing ''their'' child to spend time with it's father, how about the father allowing the child to be with the mother, no one ever seems have that to add, you would not be sending your child somewhere they would be with their father, the person other than a childs mother who should have equal rights,
    I have only quoted you because i find it interesting people having this opinion, please do not take it personally, i am in no way having a go at you just frustrated at the way people think, especially in this case where the child is not even born and has not yet formed a routine or bond with either parent it saddens me that people think the rights should automatically go to the mother.
    OP i do not know you, your EX or your situation but if your babies father does want to be involved in the child's life i strongly urge you to think about how you would feel if it was reversed and you were told you can have a certain amount of time with your child each week ''small frequent visits''
    a mother and father should have have as much right as each other to be equally involved in their child's lives.
    DP and i have discussed and in the very unlikely event we were to ever break up we would share custody of our children equally, i know how i would feel if someone told me i was only allowed to spend a few hours each week with my child and it breaks my heart thinking about it, i know that is how DP would feel and despite what ever we felt for each other if we broke up we would not let that affect out kids.
    I hope everything works out for you, i can imagine it would be a very stressful situation to be in.
    It has been proven through studies that babies/children do better emotionally if they have ONE primary carer. They can have lots of other secondary carers such as bio fathers, grandparents, daycare workers, aunties etc etc, but it is vital for them to form a strong attachment to ONE primary carer. THIS is why it is not advised to do 50/50 care with newborns.

    If you had a child yourself you'd have a clue what the mother/child bond is like. Clearly you don't so I doubt you'll 'get it' at this point in your life.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Hollywood For This Useful Post:


  9. #26
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Sydney Eastern suburbs
    Posts
    50
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    It has been proven through studies that babies/children do better emotionally if they have ONE primary carer. They can have lots of other secondary carers such as bio fathers, grandparents, daycare workers, aunties etc etc, but it is vital for them to form a strong attachment to ONE primary carer. THIS is why it is not advised to do 50/50 care with newborns.

    If you had a child yourself you'd have a clue what the mother/child bond is like. Clearly you don't so I doubt you'll 'get it' at this point in your life.
    It amazes me how the people around here don't change.
    coming back years later to find there is still the same carry one and judgement towards people that you QUOTE ""CLEARLY" know nothing about yet still it is ok to dish it out that you think you know something about someone PP you are doing the exact thing to me as you are accusing me of.

    YES, you are very right, studies on other peoples children do indicate that those people's children do emotionally better if they have, as you said ONE primary career, i do not recall anywhere in this study saying that career needed to be a mother.

    i clearly though have no children myself because a small write up on my profile that you may or may not have read didn't indicate to you that i am not a mother so there for it is perfectly fine for you to tell me i have no idea what i am talking about.
    I had choosen not to share details of my personal life and my past on here but it's people like you who assume they know someone and feel they have the right to speak to them this way that gives forums a bad name.
    I had not written anything in this thread accusing anyone of anything purely giving my opinion.

    FYI, my child, though really none of your business, died at 15 months old so i know full well what the bond between a mother and child is.

    OP, i really hope for your sake, your ex and your baby that a suitable arrangement is made that is going to work for you all.
    Last edited by littleolive; 29-04-2013 at 20:45.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to littleolive For This Useful Post:

    ClearCrystal  (29-04-2013)

  11. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,448
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked
    742
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Littleolive are you a single parent? No? Then you have no business commenting in this section.

    OP as PP's have said things like age and BF are taken into consideration.
    Depending on the situation he will be given visitation rights.

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MrsOhara For This Useful Post:

    haveheart  (29-04-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (29-04-2013),Pesca77  (30-04-2013)

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Sydney Eastern suburbs
    Posts
    50
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by MrsOhara View Post
    Littleolive are you a single parent? No? Then you have no business commenting in this section.

    OP as PP's have said things like age and BF are taken into consideration.
    Depending on the situation he will be given visitation rights.

    I'm sorry was this a question or a statement, if a question and i have a right to answer for myself, No, i am no longer a single parent but yes i was.

    how about yourself ?? just curious as it seems from your comment only single parents are allowed to comment ??

  14. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,448
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked
    742
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yes I have been a single parent.

    Funny, your other posts claim you're pregnant with your first. I really hope you didn't make something like that up.

  15. #30
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gippsland
    Posts
    14,939
    Thanks
    1,246
    Thanked
    4,080
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    [QUOTE=littleolive;7216128]

    YES, you are very right, studies on other peoples children do indicate that those people's children do emotionally better if they have, as you said ONE primary career, i do not recall anywhere in this study saying that career needed to be a mother.
    /QUOTE]

    No, of course it doesn't *have* to be the mother. It could of course be the father, but USUALLY it is the mother for various reasons. You were suggesting equal rights though, making your comment contradictory.

    Anyway, this is the single parent section, in case you didn't know.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Fathers Rights - Please Help
    By ashkaay in forum General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-01-2013, 13:28
  2. What rights do I have?
    By mystical mumma in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 27-01-2013, 07:13
  3. What are my rights?
    By onelasttime in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-08-2012, 20:08

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Be In BlossomWe offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
IVF babies due March/April/May 2017#2pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF/FET April & May chatConception & Fertility General Chat
CD8, Who's also at the start of their cycle and TTC?Conception & Fertility General Chat
Considering a terminationShould we have another baby?
Things your pets have eaten and shouldn't haveGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›