It saddens me when people who appear to have never been in the situation described feel that they can give an "informed" opinion.
Results 11 to 20 of 38
29-04-2013 13:39 #11
29-04-2013 15:25 #12
I too believe the father has right, BUT to access those rights he has responsibilities, the same as I.
If I were drinking/drug taking (for example) I would expect someone to take my child away, so I am wondering why it would be any different.
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29-04-2013 16:20 #13Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Sydney Eastern suburbs
he had no reason not to have equal time with his newborn baby other than
his ex wouldn't allow it, far from kidnapping there is nothing the law will do to help/stop one parent from seeing their child, we have our ''pretend'' break up situation planned for for the sake of our kids.
my point is more for parents who have drug/alcohol problems or are abusive, just two good parents wanting whats best for their children.
29-04-2013 16:29 #14
In my experience most (not all, but most) fathers are more than happy to not have the responsibility that goes with being an equal parent. My ex, and plenty of other single dads I know, have zero interest in making school arrangements, helping with homework, kids' shoe shopping, arranging swimming lessons, co-ordinating play dates, buying school uniforms, paying the excursion levy, chasing missing library books, labeling lunch containers, listening to reading, buying yet another school hat when the latest one gets lost, sending back permission slips, making sure she doesn't watch too much tv, enforcing time limits on computer games, ensuring she eats a balanced diet, saying no to mcdonalds every night, arranging before and after school care, racing to after care after work every day........ Shall I go on??
Oh but he's more than happy to attend parent teacher interviews where the teacher tells us what an excellent student she is and he'll smile smugly when the teacher says "she's a credit to you".
29-04-2013 16:36 #15
29-04-2013 16:46 #16
29-04-2013 16:49 #17
But how is a father supposed to have equal time with a newborn who is breastfed? Or do you also propose the child be formula or mixed fed just so the dad can have equal share?
My exDH had an affair and left me while I was pregnant with our second child. I give him the chance to see DS1 2-3 times every week, a lot more than is common (he doesn't always take it though) because I think it's important for DS1 to see his dad regularly.
But there's not a snowballs chance in hell he would be getting equal share of DS2 at only 8wks old and fully b/f. Not to mention he LEFT us before DS2 was even born, and I've since found out his new g/f is pregnant. So no, he wouldn't get equal share and nor would he even want it I suspect. I fight him to the grave if he tried though for a newborn.
29-04-2013 17:06 #18
Also littleolive, I really hope you never break up with your partner because you will find reality is a lot different.
It's easy now to say you both agree with 50% shared care for the kids. But it's completely different when the day comes, and you go from seeing your babies every day to only half a week. Or one week on and one week off. You miss your kids incredibly.
I absolutely hate having to share care now, through selfish decisions my DH made. I do it for DS1 of course, but constantly resent DH for making me spend less time with my son.
29-04-2013 17:16 #19
Littleolive, have you had a baby? It sounds to me like you have no idea how much an infant needs its mother. For the first few months, if the baby is breastfed, it needs to feed around every two to three hours, for up to an hour each time. Some babies do this until they are 6 months or older- day and night. Biologically, babies need their mothers. As Pesca said, it is about the rights of the child, not its parents.
29-04-2013 17:17 #20Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
I am not in this situation so can't really comment however my parents are separated and although i was older when it happened my sister was only 10. Due to her age legally my mum and dad were able to have equal time with her but i can tell you now that a GIRL going through puberty needs to be spending the majority of time with her MOTHER!!! I have seen first hand the damage it has done not being given the time with my mum that she needed purely because my dad was being greedy and wanted joint custody.
At the end of the day a father with never compare when it comes to nurturing, motherly instincts and children need that. Hence why i strongly believe children of any age need to be with their mum majority of the time.
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