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  1. #1
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    Default Help! 8yr old DD with so much attitude

    My DD is so much hard work at the moment.
    She has always been strong willed.
    Our parenting style is to keep changing our approach to her until we find what works. But it feels like unless there is some sort of reward for her to make an effort, she just doesn't want to make any changes.

    All day all we seem to do is argue.
    It feels like she does the exact opposite of everything I ask her just to have a reason to argue.

    I know it's just another stage, but I am just so over it.

    Any one else going through the same stuff with their daughter?
    What strategies have you tried?

  2. #2
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    There was a thread not too long ago where we parents of kids aged 7-9 were discussing how much hard work our kids have become. Definitely an age thing! Big hugs....you are not alone

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    Wish I hadn't read this. I didn't think my almost 5 year old DD could get any harder!

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    I know it's so easy to point out when she is being a gremlin because it seems to happen so often. And forget the times she is being amazing.

    Like the other day, she came home from school and told me about a situation at school. A girl had tripped over and grazed her knee, another girl said to the group she was playing with, that if any one went over and helped the girl who hurt herself, that those kids wouldn't be allowed to play with her and the group.
    My DD said she went over and helped the girl who had hurt herself. She said she then went and played some where else instead of with the mean girl.
    When my DD told me what she did, I was so proud of her and I told her and shared the story with her dad when he came home.

    One of those moments that reassure you that you are doing a great job as a parent

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    My kids are younger but, have recently just discovered free reward charts online. You print them off and laminate them and put a sticker or something every time they have good behaviour. And when you reach the end they get a special reward, ummm not sure what an 8 year old would like to do, maybe, they get to bake a cake with you or something. Check it out, worth a try. You can get different themed ones. I printed a dora one for my 20 month old to encourage using the potty. And a little mermaid one for my 3.5yr old for playing nicely with her sister. So you can tailor them. And if they constantly misbehave you can take stickers off too. And stickers are a cheap reward.

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    I am so glad I am not the only one having this problem, my DD also 8 has also had the worst attitude lately. I feel like I am banging my head against the wall because we are having the same talks with her everyday.

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    Wow!

    I have just had a huge arguement with my 8 yr old DD and then come on to see this as the first post

    I am glad I am not alone!

    Then her 5 1/2yr old sister seems to go along for the ride as well grrrr

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smurfberrylizard View Post
    My kids are younger but, have recently just discovered free reward charts online. You print them off and laminate them and put a sticker or something every time they have good behaviour. And when you reach the end they get a special reward, ummm not sure what an 8 year old would like to do, maybe, they get to bake a cake with you or something. Check it out, worth a try. You can get different themed ones. I printed a dora one for my 20 month old to encourage using the potty. And a little mermaid one for my 3.5yr old for playing nicely with her sister. So you can tailor them. And if they constantly misbehave you can take stickers off too. And stickers are a cheap reward.
    We have a reward chart. She really wants book club, which is her end reward. But she just doesn't care.

    So she has one more chance today or her computer is gone for a week! I am over it lol

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    Good luck

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    Don't get me wrong, I love the reward thing and we have tried many variations of it.
    We have done the glass jar and every time we see her make an effort to change her behaviour, we put in 10 cents. at the end of a week she can spend it.
    I know her currency is hugs and one on one, no interruptions time spent on her. So we got out the white board and everytime we see her make an effort, we write 10min on the white board, where she can chose what and who she wants to spend it with. Like 10min having a book read to her at bed time, that kind of thing.
    But as soon as she gets the reward she stops trying or her behaviour returns to how it was.
    She has gotten to a point, that sometimes she says " so what do I get if I do ...........".

    It is reassuring to hear others going through the same thing.
    I try to just ignore all the back chat as I know she is doing it for a reaction.
    But some days I just get to a point where I can't listen to it any more and just send her to her room.


 

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