You are not alone in feeling this way. My bub is 7 mths and I still feel trapped at times and its usually because I haven't been out of the house by myself for a while. My DD won't take a bottle either so I can't be away from her for long.
There have been a lot of good suggestions already.
What I often do is get my self ready to go out while DD is awake (except I leave my going out top to the last minute in case there is a spew!) and then as soon as DD in cot/asleep I am out the door so I can maximise my away time. Often it is a walk or drive to cafe or park or supermarket shopping (yes going to supermarket excited me and also made me feel I achieved something!) . This is usually in arvo as I couldn't be organised before this.
It is a big adjustment for the dads too but I just kept reminding mine that they don't have any such thing as free time anymore, well for a while ... and we both have to change our routines to accomadate this new person. Change is hard. I can understand not wanting the baby thrown on you as soon as you walk in the door.....maybe work out with your DP what he wants to do, I think definite jobs help with men...ie bath, walk in pram, feed solids at dinner, feed bottle at night (if yours will take one) or he can take on extra non-child related tasks if he is not yet comfortable with lots of one on one time with baby ie he does all the clothes washing, cooking, cleaning....
When we are both home on weekends etc I feel the caring should be 50/50 so as I have to feed I expect DP to change nappies, get DD up from sleep and do some play. I feed, put DD to sleep and some play. I had to remind him a bit to start with but now its second nature. Other household tasks have remanded the same as before. I was concious I might not be able to cope so I haven't taken on any more chores. So DP still does all the cooking. I think he thought I should be able to do this now I'm home all day....but I just do it if I can as I already find everything else that needs to be done a massive pressure. Saying that if I'm having a bad week or so I've learnt to let things slide and ie if the washing doesn't get done and if DP complains about no clean socks....well he knows how to use the machine is my answer.
Also lastly about taking your LO one out and about, my suggestions are to try different times ie just after feed or before a sleep. Try pram and walk to shops if you can. Try the pram facing different ways, try different toys, try a baby carrier.
My motto is you still have to live your life so I would keep persisting until they get used to it/tolerate it because its not all about them, mum also has to be in good shape for them to be in good shape!
Take it easy on yourself and work on getting some me time everyday, even if its sitting in the backyard to eat lunch, good luck!
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20-04-2013 11:08 #11Member
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20-04-2013 12:05 #12
Big hugs motherhood isn't what we all expected. Motherhood is s rocky roller coaster of ups and downs. Everything you have said is normal feelings of anxiety. But dont let it paralyse you. I find the more you go out with bub the better you feel. I have an 8mth dd suffered anxiety and depression before having her. Very overwhelming adjusting. It does get better . Some tips showers are bliss before bub wakes up try to get one in get dressed. Walking is great. Babes in arms at the cinemas. Have a picnic. Even if you cant get out of the house every lunch time feed go outside have a picnic feed in the sun with fresh air. Take bub for a drive. Buy a baby carrier best investment I have ever made you get your hands back. Remember days goes so fast now try to make your day worth it make memories together whatever that may be. Smile laugh love.
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