View Poll Results: Do you feel at all 'better' than those who have different fathers for their children?

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  • Yes, totally

    9 14.06%
  • A little

    10 15.63%
  • No, not at all

    45 70.31%
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  1. #31
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    No of course not!! I've never thought to think that.
    My SIL and cousin's partner have children to their first partners. I'm just happy for them that after a divorce they have found happiness again and their children live together in a loving harmonious home.

  2. #32
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    I think everyone's story is written differently and it's not up to others to judge!

  3. #33
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    I grew up in a house where my siblings and I only share a father but different mother and a lot of people I know have children with different fathers. I feel in no way better then any of them. I do feel luckier then them in the sense that I didn't have to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince

  4. #34
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    I grew up in a pretty mixed family (step kids and half siblings all over the place lol). It honestly seems normal to me

    I am pretty determined to make my marriage work though and avoid this kind of thing for myself (not because it makes me better but just because I want to experience a nuclear family, I want that stability for my daughter and any other kids me and hubby have).

    My parents are wonderful, loving people who just have a hard time making relationships work


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app

  5. #35
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    I think any family dynamic is fine different fathers different mothers my 2 will have the same father but if they didn't it wouldn't bother me I think so long as the kids know they are family things are fine it's when the kids are his or hers etc then trouble occurs

    I think in this modern age you need to be more open to different ideas of wat a family is I have friends with step kids and they are no more a family then the ones that are married
    Last edited by angelis13; 20-04-2013 at 00:34.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsTruth View Post
    no one can ever say 'never' but as I said in my response you can be determined not to see it happen. I do not believe that there is such a thing as a perfect couple either despite some people probably thinking DH and I fall into this category.

    I just know from my experience of relationships,and as I said my career, that there is very little that I would end my marriage over and DH feels the same, the only exception one of us putting DS or the other in danger of some kind.

    I
    I don't think TB&M post was directly referring to your response. I read it as a general comment about people who do go on about 'never' in these type of situations. Anything can happen in life that isn't always in your control, or that you can even foresee coming, despite how well you think you know someone.

    TB&M also believed her marriage was rock solid like you do, never had any idea it was all about to crumble. I know because I was in the exact same position - her story is eerily similar to mine!

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pesca77 For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (20-04-2013),HugsBunny  (08-05-2013)

  8. #37
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    Ms Truth - sorry if my post seemed directed at you, that wasn't my intention. I just meant from my personal experience I cringe a little inside when I hear others making massive statements when they are obviously in a great place because I see my old self in them.

    I work with children and I (and my exH) used to constantly reflect on the fact that our children would 'never' be disadvantaged by coming from a broken home (hence my internal cringing as in hindsight I know see the other side of the fence needn't be disadvantaged). Also my sister was separated and it was a little ugly between her and her ex in regards to the kids and my exH and I while still together talked about our feelings and how that would 'never' happen with us.

    What I'm getting at is that it never entered my mind for a millisecond that this was in my future. I would've bet my life on the fact that my exH and I were going to grow old together. I don't believe in the perfect couple either - but since our split others have referred to viewing us in this way. The worst part of it is that my exH was my favourite person in the world. I felt safe and secure, thought I was so fortunate to have someone so like minded. I thought I knew him inside out - right up until the moment I find out he was having an affair with my best friend while I was pregnant with our second child. Not a hint of trouble. Not a change of direction outwardly in our relationship. Not a loss of affection or sexual relations. Just one day we were the same as always - and then I found out and we weren't. There's not a lot I'd end a marriage over either. But that one did it for me. I still can't believe the 'my husband' could do that.

    I love seeing people in love though. I love seeing the innocence of people who don't even have to question things ending (I wish I could get that feeling again one day). I love people wanting to put in an effort to make things work and striving towards keeps their marriage in tact despite difficulties along the way. Just in real life I feel a little apprehensive towards those making declarations of things they'd never do in the future - when they really have no idea how things with pan out. I hope that no one has to experience what I (and others) have, but you never know where you're headed so I've learnt not to be too head string in terms of what I view as appropriate or better or worse than myself because in the past I most certainly cast my judgement on those I deemed less fortunate than myself. When in hindsight I had no idea I'd be joining the queue at centrelink and realising I'm much more fortunate now that my head is out of the clouds.

    Sorry to derail OP - but just wanted to explain my post as not to offend.

    Thanks Pesca!!! You got it in one

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Theboys&me For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (20-04-2013),LotusMum  (20-04-2013),Pesca77  (20-04-2013),TimeForWine  (09-05-2013)

  10. #38
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    Double post
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 20-04-2013 at 08:56.

  11. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I find the attitude of someone being better for something like this (and yes there are people who think this) strange. Better at what? A better person?
    Making choices

  12. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    Making choices
    Really?
    Perhaps the person you were with was completely different to what you thought and you removed yourself and your children from the situation and moved on.
    I think that's a quite good decision really.

  13. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to MrsOhara For This Useful Post:

    Ashram  (20-04-2013),HugsBunny  (08-05-2013),αληθη  (20-04-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (20-04-2013),Pesca77  (20-04-2013),Tainted  (20-04-2013),VanityFey  (22-04-2013)


 

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