No of course not!! I've never thought to think that.
My SIL and cousin's partner have children to their first partners. I'm just happy for them that after a divorce they have found happiness again and their children live together in a loving harmonious home.
View Poll Results: Do you feel at all 'better' than those who have different fathers for their children?
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No, not at all
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19-04-2013 22:43 #31
19-04-2013 22:44 #32
I think everyone's story is written differently and it's not up to others to judge!
19-04-2013 23:26 #33
I grew up in a house where my siblings and I only share a father but different mother and a lot of people I know have children with different fathers. I feel in no way better then any of them. I do feel luckier then them in the sense that I didn't have to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince
20-04-2013 00:02 #34
I grew up in a pretty mixed family (step kids and half siblings all over the place lol). It honestly seems normal to me
I am pretty determined to make my marriage work though and avoid this kind of thing for myself (not because it makes me better but just because I want to experience a nuclear family, I want that stability for my daughter and any other kids me and hubby have).
My parents are wonderful, loving people who just have a hard time making relationships work
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20-04-2013 00:32 #35Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I think any family dynamic is fine different fathers different mothers my 2 will have the same father but if they didn't it wouldn't bother me I think so long as the kids know they are family things are fine it's when the kids are his or hers etc then trouble occurs
I think in this modern age you need to be more open to different ideas of wat a family is I have friends with step kids and they are no more a family then the ones that are married
Last edited by angelis13; 20-04-2013 at 00:34.
20-04-2013 02:46 #36
TB&M also believed her marriage was rock solid like you do, never had any idea it was all about to crumble. I know because I was in the exact same position - her story is eerily similar to mine!
20-04-2013 03:57 #37
Ms Truth - sorry if my post seemed directed at you, that wasn't my intention. I just meant from my personal experience I cringe a little inside when I hear others making massive statements when they are obviously in a great place because I see my old self in them.
I work with children and I (and my exH) used to constantly reflect on the fact that our children would 'never' be disadvantaged by coming from a broken home (hence my internal cringing as in hindsight I know see the other side of the fence needn't be disadvantaged). Also my sister was separated and it was a little ugly between her and her ex in regards to the kids and my exH and I while still together talked about our feelings and how that would 'never' happen with us.
What I'm getting at is that it never entered my mind for a millisecond that this was in my future. I would've bet my life on the fact that my exH and I were going to grow old together. I don't believe in the perfect couple either - but since our split others have referred to viewing us in this way. The worst part of it is that my exH was my favourite person in the world. I felt safe and secure, thought I was so fortunate to have someone so like minded. I thought I knew him inside out - right up until the moment I find out he was having an affair with my best friend while I was pregnant with our second child. Not a hint of trouble. Not a change of direction outwardly in our relationship. Not a loss of affection or sexual relations. Just one day we were the same as always - and then I found out and we weren't. There's not a lot I'd end a marriage over either. But that one did it for me. I still can't believe the 'my husband' could do that.
I love seeing people in love though. I love seeing the innocence of people who don't even have to question things ending (I wish I could get that feeling again one day). I love people wanting to put in an effort to make things work and striving towards keeps their marriage in tact despite difficulties along the way. Just in real life I feel a little apprehensive towards those making declarations of things they'd never do in the future - when they really have no idea how things with pan out. I hope that no one has to experience what I (and others) have, but you never know where you're headed so I've learnt not to be too head string in terms of what I view as appropriate or better or worse than myself because in the past I most certainly cast my judgement on those I deemed less fortunate than myself. When in hindsight I had no idea I'd be joining the queue at centrelink and realising I'm much more fortunate now that my head is out of the clouds.
Sorry to derail OP - but just wanted to explain my post as not to offend.
Thanks Pesca!!! You got it in one
20-04-2013 04:05 #38
Last edited by Theboys&me; 20-04-2013 at 08:56.
20-04-2013 07:06 #39
20-04-2013 07:10 #40
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