My exDH and I were together nearly 10yrs, 6 of those before we got married & 8 before DS1 arrived. We had travelled the world, moved interstate, worked together for 5yrs and went through IVF for DS1. Finally, my DH was adamant about giving his kids a stable home, because he never had it growing up. I think it's fair to say we knew each other quite well & i was 100% certain he would be a wonderful husband and father. People commented that we were one of 'those' couples.
But then he had an affair. While I was 4mths pregnant with DS2. Then I found out she is pregnant too. Pretty sh!tty situation all round now one would say.
But I no longer blame myself for a 'poor choice', or for choosing the wrong husband or father for my children. I now understand he changed, which I could never foresee happening. His own family and friends are as shocked as I am. No one saw this coming from him.
So whilst it's fabulous to always think positively, and I will continue to do so, people should really also be aware that life doesn't always go to plan. People do change and not always for the better.
Sorry for long post....this topic is close to home for me!
View Poll Results: Do you feel at all 'better' than those who have different fathers for their children?
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No, not at all
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Results 131 to 140 of 149
09-05-2013 11:02 #131
09-05-2013 11:06 #132
09-05-2013 11:34 #133
Not in the slightest better
Things in life happen unfortunately that are out of our control and can change a relationship/marriage in an instant.
I'm no better having a good marriage and same father to both kids - i just feel lucky I don't have to deal with the complications than can occur with having a blended family.
09-05-2013 12:14 #134
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09-05-2013 12:30 #135
I don't feel better, but I possibly might have it a little easier in that I dont have to worry about the kids when they're with the other parent?!?!
I also don't give it any thought, except for a couple of people I know that do have a bit of a hard time.....
09-05-2013 12:33 #136
I'm not saying I'm not committed, not at all, but after working in family law for a few years many lifetimes ago I take nothing for granted and know not every marriage or partnership is forever, and that people (even great people) can change. I heard so, so many women in Pesca's situation telling the same story (or versions of the same story) over and over again.
So no I'm not better, I'm just incredibly grateful for what I have but I also know anything can happen in the future.
09-05-2013 12:40 #137
09-05-2013 12:58 #138
Yep, he isn't happy about the next baby on the way. This is not what he planned - he ran away from his responsibilities to have some 'fun'. He's now financially screwed for the next 18yrs.
Karma can be a b!tch
09-05-2013 13:05 #139
09-05-2013 13:14 #140
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