They want us to own a home, which we are quite happy to keep renting. THAT'S the big issue that always comes up.
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17-04-2013 17:31 #11
17-04-2013 17:33 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
I mean this with all due respect, but it looks like your perinatal depression issues were less than a year ago.
I don't doubt you have been treated and obviously if you feel ready to add another child to your family you are confident you can cope.
However, even if your family doesn't know the details of your issues with your eldest, I'd be surprised if they didn't have an inkling at least.
17-04-2013 17:39 #13
17-04-2013 17:43 #14
I know how you must be feeling. We recently had our 3rd daughter and some family members, particularly my step mother, have said things like that will be it now, no more etc. and yes we are thinking about a 4th at some point.
It does really annoy me but my step mother is a bit of a B**** so I try to take it with a grain of salt. It must be horrible to be hearing it from people who you really love.
17-04-2013 18:00 #15
OP, there are threads of yours where you've shared how you haven't been able to cope with the children you already have, and they're not over 5 years old... but less than a year old. If your family are at all aware of these instances, or have witnessed other ones that you haven't posted about in here, then I think they have very valid reasons to be concerned and to "judge" you for wanting to have more babies.
I get that sometimes families like to meddle and tell you what to do, but given your history with anger regarding your children, I think they aren't being meddlesome, but are genuinely concerned, and with good reason.
17-04-2013 18:44 #16
My mum was exactly the same and didn't want me to have any more children after we had our 3rd. It wasn't because she thought I couldn't handle having another baby but she was worried about me taking on to much having a child with type 1 diabetes and 2 with ENT probs. I've since had my 4th and mum was worried but our daughters here and everything's perfect. <3
I don't care what ppl think of me having a large family and I will go on to have a 5th in a few years!! So point being if you can afford, love and handle another child then don't worry what others think its what you want!
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17-04-2013 21:56 #17
Psh. Ignore the judgey people. It's none of their business. My cousin has five kids and the worst anyone does is offer to buy them condoms.
17-04-2013 22:26 #18
We are having #4 in about 18 weeks. I never receive negative judgment just lots of people admiring me for going back for #4 (even though it wasn't planned).
I'm with lambjam I can't see any reason for people to be negative unless they feel you can't properly care for them. And I do also recall posts in the past 12 months from you about your anger. Is that why your family are judging?
As for the comments from people re "are you insane??" I tend to agree that we are
17-04-2013 22:30 #19
OP... Less than a year ago you posted some pretty heavy stuff. Could this be part of the reason your family would not respond well to news of another pregnancy?
As I said, I have four children... I would hardly judge a loved one for a fourth pregnancy. But if this was my sister? I don't know where words of encouragement would quite fit in amidst my concern.
Last edited by lambjam; 17-04-2013 at 22:38.
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17-04-2013 22:55 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
I would think that your mother 'forbade' you to have any more children due to your intense perinatal depression, not due to the fact that you will be a large family.
Have you read back on some of your previous threads? Your family is probably (very rightly) concerned about you and your kids. Good luck with your decision.
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