Trying to slowly process things after a not so great birth. The thing stuck in my mind at the moment is how long it took for me to meet my little man. I had an emergency forceps delivery in theatre. I say emergency as I was prepped for a c section but there was actually no time so they ripped him out. Anyway... Due to our injuries we were separated immediately and he was taken to the special care nursery. I didn't get to meet him for 8 hours. He couldn't get to me and I couldn't get to him. I didn't get to meet him on the actual day of his birth. It makes me sad now to think about that. Am interested to hear from other mummies who went through the same thing. He couldn't come to my room until he was four days old and I could only go see him when a nurse could take me. I feel like I missed so much
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17-04-2013 10:13 #1
How long after the birth did you get to meet your baby if not straight away?
17-04-2013 10:26 #2
Im so sorry to hear about your birth story, it must have been terrifying!
I had a scheduled csection and saw DD in theather but its all kind of hazy, DH told me months later that I went out after the birth and they had him and DD waiting for me in recovery while they finished up with me... I have absolutely no recollection of this and he also told me that the nurse gave him formula to give DD while they waited... I couldn't believe it!! It made me sad and angry and like I missed something... but I got over it after a couple of days, no point dwelling on it and DD is 12 months now she doesn't have a clue about any of that and we have a great bond.
So Im just letting you know that yes it's sad that you missed out on those first few days but you and bub are here safe and you will have plenty of time to make up those missed moments :-) enjoy your little one they grow fast!
17-04-2013 10:36 #3
I understand you pain :-( The pain of so many people getting to meet your DS before you, his mother!!
My DD was born via crash c-section at 7pm on Friday night and I met her for the first time at about 10am Saturday morning, so about 15 hours.
It was 13 days before I got to hold her, and 3 months before I could hold her without having to ask permission and arrange the careful transfer with the nurses.
I have just started some counselling for a variety of post-traumatic stress issues surrounding the birth and the NICU stay, and I'm learning to take comfort in the fact it was absolutely required not just a result of mismanagement, and in fact that it was well managed.
Big big hugs
ETA: I should also add I was under general, so didn't get a meeting in theatre.
Last edited by GM01; 17-04-2013 at 10:40.
17-04-2013 10:36 #4
I had an emergency c-section and I did get to see him in theatre for a quick squiz before he was whisked off the NICU and I was in recovery (his father was with him). In this time he was fed formula. I was then wheeled from recovery to NICU where I got my first cuddle. I have NO IDEA how long it had been, maybe an hour or two or so. I then had to put him back in the humidicrib and didnt see him again til 9ish (4 hours later) for a breastfeed, then back to NICU he went. Knowing what I know now i wish it was all different but it was such a shock, such a rush, he wasnt expected to come for 4 more weeks, I was completely unprepared.
17-04-2013 10:40 #5
My DS was delivered (emergency c-section) at 6:45pm and I didn't get to meet him (not even a quick glance after he came out) until almost midnight.
I was in recovery for an extra long period whilst my blood pressure was being stabilised (it was through the roof), and DS was in the NICU. I was just so keen to see my baby, it seemed to take forever.
In order to see him, they wheeled the bed I was on into the NICU and I viewed him through the humidicrib. He looked much better than I imagined (he was born at 31 weeks and I expected him to look more red/wrinkly like an old man, which is what I read in a brochure about premmies). Our first cuddle was two days later.
I do feel a little envious of those who get to have a vaginal birth and nurse their little one on their chest straight away, but I have come to terms with that feeling of 'missing out'. I live vicariously through the vaginal birthing mums on One Born Every Minute!
Ideally over time you will gradually accept what happened.
Your journey may have been traumatic to begin with, but it's over now and you have a lovely little person to focus on.
If your feelings are not going away, you may want to consider some counselling to help process what happened and to move forward
17-04-2013 11:15 #6
I am having counselling.... But things just keep popping up. They did actually put him on me which I thought was a good thing... Til I found out we were in such a state he was thrown there so the paed. Could grab him quickly and they could attend to me. He was very injured so we couldn't hold him properly for 2 weeks.... Then I ended up in hospy without him for a week at 5 weeks and now in two weeks having surgery and I won't be able to lift him I just feel a bit ripped off..... He is here And safe... Which I am grateful for.... They took 4 mins to bring him back to life I just get ok with things then something else pops up in my head
17-04-2013 11:18 #7
9 hours. It was awful! My son was delivered via emergency ceaser due to his heart rate dropping, turns out the monkey had managed to tie a knot in his cord. I was taken to recovery and then the ward, he was taken to NICU and put on oxygen. Because it was a Sunday night there were only two wardsmen in the entire hospital, and I had to wait until one became available. Meeting my son was apparently not 'urgent', meaning he was in the care of random strangers for his first 9 hours in the world. His father was able to see him, and the NICU nurses sent photos, which wasn't quite the same. Luckily, I had made it clear no one was to come to the hospital prior to being invited, so no other family met my son before I did. It was awful, and I will never, ever get that precious time back. My son is 27 months and sometimes it still really gets to me, but I managed to feed him until 17 months after my milk finally came in, and I don't believe our bond could be closer.
17-04-2013 11:21 #8
The second they came out the midwife put them on my chest for there first time.
17-04-2013 11:32 #9
I don't think you should expect yourself to be "over it" completely even with the help of counselling. It's going to take a very long time and I have the same thoughts every now and then. I'll suddenly think about how MIL and FIL went and met DD before I did and how I think that sucks.
IMO you have every right to feel "ripped off" - it's grief for what should have been and how it "should have gone"...
I want to give you a big hug right now, it's one of those things that can't truly be understood until you've been there!
17-04-2013 11:42 #10
I think I have had sooooo much going on I struggle to process it all at once. This year has been very difficult
My boy was full term but way too big... I admire the strength of those mummies who's babies come so early,.. Have I deal with so much more than I did
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