I tend to disagree with most of the above posts. I can completely understand your anxiety about leaving your son especially since he is still so young. 13 months is still so little. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your mum to go to the appointment with you and DS.
Is there a reason she feels she should stay at home with him? Does she understand how anxious that would make you?
I agree with others who said one step at a time. And I think a great first step is your mum coming to the scan and taking DS for a walk or something. You will have many more scans in your pregnancy and there will be plenty of opportunities to increase the amount of time she looks after him. I would also have a serious conversation with her about the way you feel. Good luck!
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16-04-2013 18:59 #11
16-04-2013 18:59 #12
I understand it's hard to leave a demand fed baby - my son won't take a bottle and only rarely will drink from a sippy cup, but I feel that it's important for my mental well being and his development for us to be able to be apart for a couple of hours.
Can I ask, do you feel a general 'anxious' uneasy feeling, or is there something specific you are worried about that you think may happen?
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16-04-2013 19:18 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
You're not being unreasonable, everyone does what works for their own family so it's pretty hard to judge someone else's situation without bias. It is hard for some mums to contemplate how others are comfortable leaving their children from an early age, just like its hard for other mums to empathise with how hard it can be for some to leave them at all.
There isn't a right or wrong, you have to do what feels right.
16-04-2013 20:17 #14
It's lovely that you have such a close relationship with your son, but what about your son's relationship with his grandma?
Unless your mum is seriously untrustworthy (eg drinks, gambles, likely to leave DS unsupervised), I think its unreasonable not to leave your son with her in your own home. You have a month to work on the anxiety/trust issues.
Best of luck!
16-04-2013 20:22 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Surely, anxiety wise, having her watch him in his own home should be less stressful? Most importantly for him (in his own environment while being babysat for the first time can only be a good thing) but also for her. Im sure she knows you'll be stressed about it so she probably thinks that being at home where he's safe, relaxed etc.would be nicer for you.
16-04-2013 20:26 #16
16-04-2013 20:28 #17
16-04-2013 20:29 #18
Honestly, I think it's a bit unreasonable.
Others have already said my other thoughts in more detail, but I think you need to take this step very soon, for your son's wellbeing, not your own.
16-04-2013 20:29 #19
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16-04-2013 20:30 #20
Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. Being home with your son would be much easier for your mum rather than being in a waiting room with barely anything to entertain him. I do think its rather odd your husband doesn't even have one on one time with your son.
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