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  1. #1
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    Default Birthday party help!

    It's dd1's birthday comming up and I'm bit unsure about if I should invite a particular family member and their kids.

    On one hand, I don't want too- We don't see them regularly, could see them alot more except this family member's life is pretty messed up and all they do is complain but take no steps to fix it.

    I know if the family member comes me and my cousin will be left looking after their kids, so I won't have much time for dd.

    They live in foul conditions and are always in dirty clothes (i'm a very messy person so for me to say this its really bad) and the young kids always smell of dried urine. I try to help, but it's really depressing and I find that I take on too much of the family members crap.

    I have long suffered from depression and have been trying no meds, and honestly it drags me back down seeing this person.

    On the other hand, it's not the kids fault what they were born into. I'm pretty sure growing up they are going to be excluded from social events and play dates. I feel bad for them

    So what would yo do? Invite them despite the issues with the parent? Don't invite them and feel a bit bad for excluding the kids?


    I should add, government agencies are awear of the situation, so despite the kids living in absolute filth they are deemed safe, in case anyone is concerned

  2. #2
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    Could you maybe offer to go pick up the kids and then bring them to your place, get them showered and give them an outfit each (just a cheap but CLEAN one each) and let them enjoy the party and drop them off afterwards?

    Unless the kids are a bit feral acting....in which case, if they are going to be wild at your daughters party and you are going to be stuck looking after them then just dont invite them and focus on a great day for your DD.

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  4. #3
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    How old are the kids?
    As much as I think their kids would love to come to a party I think your anxiety is already strong just thinking about them and I would not want you spending your daughters party worrying about other people, when you should be having a happy day with your DD!

    To save the drama I probably would not invite them, especially if you are not close and won't really be associating with them anyway?

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    Could you maybe offer to go pick up the kids and then bring them to your place, get them showered and give them an outfit each (just a cheap but CLEAN one each) and let them enjoy the party and drop them off afterwards?

    Unless the kids are a bit feral acting....in which case, if they are going to be wild at your daughters party and you are going to be stuck looking after them then just dont invite them and focus on a great day for your DD.
    Thanks London, that is actually a great idea but I don't know how it would go.

    1 of the children has a fair few health and behavioral issues. They also have meltdowns constantly something that I have tried to help with but honesly I just don't know enough about how to look after a child with this kind of special needs I also don't know how the child would cope being away from the parents in a new environment.


    Kids are 2 +5 Elijahs mum

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaliyahsmummy View Post
    Thanks London, that is actually a great idea but I don't know how it would go.

    1 of the children has a fair few health and behavioral issues. They also have meltdowns constantly something that I have tried to help with but honesly I just don't know enough about how to look after a child with this kind of special needs I also don't know how the child would cope being away from the parents in a new environment.
    In that situation, I personally wouldnt invite them. You need to be enjoying your daughters party and thats hard enough when you are the host. Hope your DD ends up having a great day

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    At first I was going to agree with London, but I've swayed now!

    It's your DD's 1st bday party - you deserve to enjoy it. If having these kids there will ruin that for you, then no don't invite them. As sad as that is for the kids

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    I'm with London - I wouldn't invite them, it's not their fault but it's not your responsibility to worry about them on DD,s birthday

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    How many other people are you inviting? If its just a few then i wouldnt invite them. But if its everyone then its a bit hard not to invite them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by baby4us View Post
    How many other people are you inviting? If its just a few then i wouldnt invite them. But if its everyone then its a bit hard not to invite them.
    From that side of my family I would only invite 4 kids including the 2 mentioned, I only really see them at Xmas, weddings and birthdays. So I think I just wouldn't invite any of them this time.

    Thanks all for your opinions, I wish things were different, they are really sweet kids

    might invite then over for a play date at some stage so I don't feel so bad!

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    A play date sounds like a really good alternative. You could even arrange it as a family birthday celebration so there's no 'why weren't we invited to X's birthday?'.

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