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  1. #101
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    I also want to add, I am so so glad I opened this thread. I am utterly amazed at how many supportive, helpful people there are on here

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Hello & thank you so much for your reply. I know you are right, & I will endeavor to out support networks in place. If I were to report him, you are right, I fear that he would turn on me & I don't know how that would affect me. I deleted all messages Friday night when I decided I couldn't Be so dependant on him.. So there goes any proof I had. Although, since then he has sent me a few texts that prove what has been going on ... God it's all so messy isn't it?
    It does sound messy. Not sure what phone you have, but I know if you have an iPhone then the messages will still be backed up on your computer, as long as you don't connect it...

    If not, I guess at the end of the day the most important thing is getting yourself safe. Your psych should have a good enough relationship with you to trust your word, and if nothing else the shadow of doubt she(?) will now have over your GP will probably ly enough to stop her using him.

    Hang in there. This is like an addiction for you, so take it day by day...

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  4. #103
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    Thanks Vic park... I didn't know that, but now I do.. So thankyou. I still don't think I could do that to him.

    & thankyou Mrsharvey..

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If the police are involved and it is deemed to be a criminal matter they may be able to retrieve the messages from your phone providers records.
    Hello, thanks for all of your ongoing advice, Vicpark! It's appreciated. Would the police need to get involved? Is this really that serious? :|

  6. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Hello, thanks for all of your ongoing advice, Vicpark! It's appreciated. Would the police need to get involved? Is this really that serious? :|

    I don't know for 100% sure. But I would say that he would be investigated though. People take what he has done very seriously

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    Hi, I read some of this last night, and the rest this morning. I couldn't not reply.

    While I haven't had depression or anxiety myself, I just wanted to point out a few things I've noticed.

    I really think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Firstly, you have resisted his kiss.
    I believe that the fact you started this thread, means that you are strong enough to recognise that there is something seriously wrong with his behaviour. Its not easy to step up and admit something like this at all. I would be so scared and afraid, but, you have shown great strength so far.

    I do believe that you can break his hold over you, given the right support. And you are strong enough to get better, recognising something is amiss is the first step, and you have done this already! So well done.

    Personally, If I were in your situation, i would reach out my hubby, and psych for a start. As hard as it is, these will be the ones to get you through, and they are probably just waiting for you to reach out.

    I personally wouldn't create more stress for yourself by calling the police on him....just open up, being brutally honest, to your husband and psych for now....and let them do it. your psych would no doubt have a moral, ethical or legal obligation to report it, and it will also have more credibility coming from your psych. As pp have said, your mental health atm may be used against you, but it would be documented by your psych so essentially more evidence

    Try not to think about your gp, as others said, he is not the saviour you think he is, he is not helping you, he is not making you better, he has breached all sorts of legal, ethical and moral boundaries, and he is preying on your vulnerability. Personally, I think he is also underestimating the strength you do have inside you!! Even now in the confused state of mind he has you in.

    don't think about the consequences for him, as they are irrelevant to you. And he will be well aware of them..... You need to be really selfish here and only think of yourself and getting yourself better....
    You haven't mentioned them, but I am assuming you are a mummy....so if you can't do it for yourself, you could do it for them....because they would need you and be missing you.

    Take it one step at a time... Its not going to be an easy thing but I truly believe you have the strength in you to overcome this, it shines through in your replies very brightly....its already there. Just embrace it.

    Good job on emailing your psych by the way.

    You can do this!!
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 14-04-2013 at 08:33.

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  9. #107
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    Hi OP
    I have been reading through the thread and was really gobsmacked at this GP's level of deception and unprofessionalism. I work with doctors in my own job as a social worker and I would be mortified to hear this type of thing going on in my workplace.

    As a doctor he has a very strict and comprehensive code of conduct to follow, aside from duty of care, patient code of ethics etc etc. Doctors are not our 'friends' as such- they are there to provide us with medical assistance. Of course it's great when they are compassionate and understanding but there is a real difference between empathy for a patient and 'being a friend'. This man does not have your best interests in mind and is, frankly predatory and unsafe. it may not feel this way but once you do start recovering from depression it will seem clearer to you.
    Another poster wrote that this is grooming behaviour and this is absolutely correct.

    You are the victim in this and I'm so glad you are starting to see this. Emailing your psych about it is a great start. Perhaps you should keep future texts in case you do report him to the medical board but in the meantime please access your existing network of family and professionals to help you untangle from this inappropriate relationship.

    Good luck and take care.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Thanks so much ladies. I know how stupid saying he "saved" me sounds, it's just how I feel. When I woke up this morning, it all felt way too hard without his help & I thought "nah I'd rather him be my friend than this all come back". I text him. I know how wrong this is, tomorrow I will get help. I will find a new GP at the least & explain everything. I have emailed my psych too. I will get the wheels in motion..
    thank you all again.

    ohh and Mahjong, my relationship with my dad is actually amazing!! So I can't blame that
    Everyone will probably disagree with me but I don't think you should cut contact with him straightaway. In your mind, he has been your only support. I think it is great that you are contacting other professionals about this, they will be able to give you the tools you need to be able to end things with him without shattering all the progress that you have made so far. Good luck with it

  11. #109
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    ((Big Hugs)) OP what an ordeal you have been through.
    From the sound of your posts your Dr sounds like he is grooming you and messing around your meds for his own benefit. If he truly wanted to help you he would see the relationship for what it is 'inappropriate' and find you a fantastic GP to help you on a professional level.
    You need help not dependency on a man who controls your medication (I find the fact he prescribes your meds scary tbh).
    Does your psych know he assures you against her advise or that he took you off meds after 3 weeks? If not I really think you should mention it to her, this way you don't have to mention the attempted kiss ect but you let her know what's going on professionally.
    I also had a yucky feeling when I read your posts the kind of feeling I get when reading/hearing about a child abuse case. Take care and try and depend more on your hubby and your psych than this "Dr".

  12. #110
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    Hi OP-

    Just wanted to check in and add some thoughts, although I don't think they're anything different from what others have said.

    As far as an emotional affair, I do think it is one, definitely on his side. But I think your side is a lot more complicated because you're in a position where you are vulnerable and not yourself and he is definitely taking advantage of you, and grooming you in a sense. I do think you are a victim in this. I don't think your husband knows everything, because I think if he did he would have the same stance as the rest of us and would want to get you away from this man. I really think you need to tell your husband everything and let him help you. If you don't feel your relationship is in a place where you trust telling him then what about your parents? If you are close to your dad, can you ask him for his help and support through this?

    This man (or dr) is not helping you or has your best interest at heart. Trust me, no dr would take you off an anti-d after only three weeks and say you don't need them. Anti-d's (like I said) take 3-4 weeks to BEGIN to start working, but you need to be on them for so much longer for them to actually work and you begin to see long term effects (ie they clear your head enough so that therapy then begins to start to get through). The fact that he took you off those recent ones (and I am assuming others in the past) so soon really makes me think that he's trying to keep you in a vulnerable state because he's either scared you won't need him anymore or some other equally wrong/sick reason. He seems really unsafe to me (maybe not physically but definitely mentally) and I really think, as hard as it is, you need to cut ties with him immediately. Delete his number from your phone and go get a new SIM card so that he can't contact you. Maybe go stay with your parents for a while and have them take you to a new GP. Or alternatively, the hospital for a few days, where it will just be all about you. I really think you should call that Alfred C.A.T number I gave you and try to get their help. Also a few days in the hospital with no contact and professional help that is all about you could be so beneficial right now.

    I think with your psychologist, you should try to get in this week and speak with her about all of this. My counsellor often had cancelations during the week and she'll call to let me know or if its an emergency she'll just find a way to squeeze me in.

    I really think this man is hindering your progress and the only way to begin to get out of this depression hole you find yourself in is to begin by cutting him out. I feel it could really only have a positive outcome for you in the long run. Make reporting him the least of your worries right now. If when you're stronger and seeing more clearly you want to report him then do it.

    We are so much stronger then we think we are and I guarantee you are as well. I've been in a dark hole like you are now, it is possible to find your way out. But I don't think you will be able to until this man is cut out.


 

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