Oh Ally I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs
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12-04-2013 03:02 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
12-04-2013 05:54 #22
Ally I don't know what to say. I just want to give you massive hugs xoxo
12-04-2013 06:35 #23
Ally, I've been following your journey as Angus' mummy, and have gotten to know his story. Just by sharing his story, you have helped me understand Edwards syndrome a little better, but most of all, you have helped me get to know little Angus. In fact, many others on this forum have also gotten to know Angus' story, and your very special relationship with him has touched the hearts of more than just me, no doubt. You will always be a mummy, his mummy, and an amazing mummy at that. He would understand that he couldn't come home with you. He knows how much you wished you could have done that very thing.
Like others have said, your feelings are normal and my hope for you is that you receive all the support you need at this time. Please access some counselling. This is such a difficult experience to go through and nobody would be expected to get through this without some extra support. Big hugs.
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28-06-2013 18:56 #24
it was the hardest thing I had to do too - congratulations on birthing your baby, I'm so sorry he couldnt stay with you. xo
My angel baby was born three months ago tomorrow, I haven't really spoken about her on these forums before. When we had to go home I left strict instructions with the midwife not to leave her alone and to make sure she was always nice and warm - she just agreed like it wasn't weird We went back the next day and spent some time with her in their chapel.
I feel the guilt too - I couldn't keep her safe and that's all I had to do. I know it wasn't my fault, it wasn't anyones fault but she was my baby and now shes not here. But then the next day I'm so grateful for just being her mum for however short it was...
Three months and my good days are getting more frequent - I really hope yours are too
28-06-2013 19:24 #25
Giving birth to a stillborn child is one of the hardest things anyone can go through.
There are so many strong feelings.
Guilt, anger, devastation, disbelief and the extreme feeling of emptiness.
I too felt guilt and felt like I had abandoned my son when I had to leave him at the hospital, I just felt how could I leave him there??? He shouldn't be left alone like that. But I had to... though I still 5 years later feel the guilt of him being left at the hospital by himself I know that he is with me in spirit.... he is never alone. He is with me every second of every day.
I felt such piece after his funeral, his funeral was so incredibly beautiful and I felt that he was happy and safe with god.
There are some amazing organizations that can offer support and help you with your feelings. Sands, sids, teddy love co.
Im not sure if you have heard of
But its a lady who writes children's and babies names that have passed away in the sand at sunset and photographs them
She started it after her son was stillborn...
They are a really beautiful if you wanted to have a look into getting your babys name.
Dont be too hard on yourself. You need alot of time to process everything and feel a such an incredible range of emotions.
28-06-2013 20:26 #26
Missy moo I have heard if Carly Marie and Christians beach
Butterfly it will be three months on July 6th for me. I just wish I would have had more time even though I know it would never change things. But I wish I had let them take him read other mums getting a couple days and I wish I hadn't let my dad control the situation just because I think I would have asked but who knows.
I'm so angry and devastated still. I want my baby!!
Angus 4~6~13, loved - wanted - missed
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