+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26
  1. #1
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Doreen, melbourne
    Posts
    3,050
    Thanks
    2,193
    Thanked
    1,270
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Feeling guilty (trigger warning)

    My baby boy was born sleeping on Saturday night they let me have him till mid Sunday morning thence was taken away for a few hours then we got him back for two hours.

    I feel horribly guilty that I left him behind. I know he had passed and couldn't come home but I can't shake the guilt.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    120
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    48
    Reviews
    0
    I couldn't read and not comment. I am so sorry for your terrible loss.
    I think feeling guilty for being separated from your newborn is a completely normal feeling, whether your baby was born awake or asleep. It's what mothers do.
    With love xx

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to MrsRB For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,272
    Thanks
    946
    Thanked
    1,022
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ali-- I'll PM you a big response later but I know this feeling. I feel you only left Angus' physical body behind, you didn't leave him behind because he really is always with you. Not just in a religious sense. Angus was part of you, your body made him and grew him. A friend explained it to me this way--your blood was always pumping through Angus and in turn his blood was then pumping through you, so little bits if his DNA are all through your body and that's never going to go away, he's always been there and always will be. You had to leave his physical body behind but he is with you, in the sense I just explained but also his spirit. You know this because of the love you feel. The love hurts right now but I'm sure even now you're grateful that Angus existed and gave you the opportunity to feel this love. It's always going to be there and I promise soon you'll begin to take comfort in it. I do have days where it really hurts still but I have more and more days where I can just feel the love and be grateful that we had Clem even for such a short time. 20 weeks was better then her never existing at all. These next few weeks will be really hard but I promise it will get easier. Angus is always with you, I promise. Sometimes you'll even have signs. I'll PM you more later. Xoxoxo

  5. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Kirst33 For This Useful Post:

    ABigDeepBreath  (12-04-2013),Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013),atomicmama  (11-04-2013),bokkie_wotwot  (11-04-2013),dancingchipmunk  (11-04-2013),Lauzy83  (11-04-2013),MarchMumma  (15-04-2013),Mod-Uniquey  (11-04-2013),mum2twinboys  (11-04-2013),Piffle  (11-04-2013),RipperRita  (12-04-2013),SageS  (11-04-2013),wannawannabe  (13-04-2013)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,945
    Thanks
    1,166
    Thanked
    963
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    Well said pp's. I am so sorry for you and your family. I wish there was something I can say to help but I don't think there are words. Talk cry vent do what you feel you need to do. I think you know how many people here love you and care. We are all here for you

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to bpac For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4,996
    Thanks
    3,723
    Thanked
    1,978
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So sorry Ally. Any feelings you have are part of the grieving process so be kind to yourself. Are you planning on speaking with a counseller hopefully they may be able to help you work through your feelings of guilt.

    Take care xxx

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to SoThisIsLove For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    440
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked
    132
    Reviews
    0
    I'm so sorry Ally. What a horrible thing to have to feel with all the grief and loss as well. I can imagine it would be very easy to feel that way. I hope PP have offered some helpful perspectives...Kirst's post was lovely.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to tootsiegirl For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,877
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts


    I'm so sorry for your loss Ally. That sounds like a very normal feeling to have and probably allowing yourself to have a full range of emotions right now is not a bad thing. I also think counselling would be a good thing to do if you feel right for it.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    That must be one of the hardest things anybody could ever do. I don't know what to say except that I am so very sorry. Xxx

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  16. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    6,342
    Thanks
    5,782
    Thanked
    4,718
    Reviews
    20
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I have no words of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you have so many people supporting you right now

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to atomicmama For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

  18. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,128
    Thanks
    1,433
    Thanked
    1,377
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hugs xx I haven't experienced this so I can't pretend to know how u feel but I am thinking of you x

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to SAgirl For This Useful Post:

    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. *Trigger topic* feeling really bad about something i said.
    By Harliben in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 25-03-2013, 01:25
  2. Feeling guilty!!!
    By MissSez in forum Support for unplanned pregnancies
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-07-2012, 09:13
  3. This is very sad, TRIGGER WARNING
    By fairyflossfairy in forum News & Current Affairs
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-07-2012, 13:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
ProSwimProSwim Rostrevor runs learn to swim classes for children and adults. Lessons are run during the Summer months ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›