what do others find helps them to communicate calmly in ways that will be most productive and stay calm during stressful times.

i recently had some smooth sailing in a friendship and then a challenge.

i learnt that i want to
find ways to stay calm, people counsellors, sleep, friends, whatever works,
to calm myself
to realise they arent driving me nuts on purpose
to communicate calmly gently briefly
eg when you do ...... then i feel.....
or simply a request
please can you......
and maybe sandwich whatever i say in lots of focus on the good things that i appreciate
to maybe take time out so that i dont talk in anger and hurt someone
to realise that often we think something was obvious but to others it isnt and they really didnt realise so just communicate softly gently briefly so they feel safe to speak and will react more maturely and usually quickly light is shed on it and the issue resolves
to trust that its normal for stress to occur , and that with skills it will resolve, light will be shed on the issue with short positive interactions.

What have others learnt that helps them calm down and communicate in calm ways when stressed by others.