Background. I'm doing shared care with my GP. He is amazing. I love him to bits for his patience and thorough care as well as always being on call if and when I need something.
I had my booking app with the RBWH yesterday and it wasn't pleasant by any means. I understand alot of what they do is procedural but it was cold, unfriendly and honestly a waste of time. All I got from two hours of waiting was the orange book to take back to my gp and a few boxes filled out.
All of which I could of done myself. Ie weight. Details of first birth. Name. Family medical history. And the rest the midwife said my doc would do for me. I don't understand why they didn't just save everyone time and money and post it to me.
I found the whole hospital process to be very sterile and cold and am not looking forward to future appointments. The midwife seemed very judgemental when she asked why we didn't get the NT scan done. (We chose not to- which is entirely our right to decide)
And outright told me I HAD to get to the whooping cough vaccine and so should everyone else in my family when bubs is born. (Again a choice we will make at the time, it's not the law) I appreciate an educated opinion but I do not appreciate being told what to do without any reasoning behind it.
When I questioned as to why I needed to do some things ie sign a form to consent to a vaginal birth she just barked - its procedure. (I'm opting for a vbac- again she was very quick to tell me all about the increased risks and dangers.. Thanks for the support!)
Why do you need to know if my partner lives with me and why not if he doesn't?
- I don't see how this question relates to my or my babies health in anyway?
'It's just something we have to know.'
There was also a whole stack of forms about being in an abusive relationship and so on. I'm not. I love my DF to pieces. He is great. But even if I was I'm sure as heck not going to tick yes to all the boxes and get help from a cranky midwife I only just met am I?
So my question is- what happens if I cancel the rest of my midwife appointments? The midwives don't know me or my medical history personally. My gp does. I will continue to see him regularly for all relevant check ups and be monitored appropriately throughout my pregnancy.
Chances are I won't have any of the midwives I see in with me during my labour. So they will know nothing more about me than the orange book states. Again - my gp will fill this out.
I'm struggling to see the advantages of going to see them three times over the next 25 weeks when they will provide nothing more than my gp is already.
If I had never booked into the hospital at all would they still take you in and allow you to deliver there when in labour ? Surely they have to?
So I'm curious what happens if I cancel these midwife appointments at the hospital. If it would really make any difference to the whole process or would I be more advantaged by just going and accepting this is just the way they do things? Any thoughts appreciated.
Maybe I just got a grumpy midwife but it certainly hasn't made me excited about having bubs there. I don't want to stay there for long. If it wasn't for DFs concern I would be seriously considering a home birth. But he doesn't feel comfortable with that so I have agreed to go to the hospital. I plan on going in as late as possible during labour and discharging as soon as we are given the all clear.
Ps- thanks for reading my very long vent. : )
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09-04-2013 06:35 #1
Are appointments compulsory?
Last edited by MadeWithLove; 09-04-2013 at 06:39.
09-04-2013 06:41 #2
I was quite baffled by some of the questions too. I understand they're trying to look out for the best interest of us and our babies, but sounds like you got an awful midwife! Mine referred me to the counsellor because dh has a brain injury. It was such a waste of her time and mine. That being said I don't really have a problem with the midwives, I just prefer my gp and the appointment times at the hospital are cr@p.
I did/am doing minimal appointments at the hospital. I never really thought to boycot entirely, so I guess I can't answer your question just wanted to provide some sympathy! I had an app at around 25 weeks I think and don't go back til 36 weeks.
I guess the problem you face is that you did do your booking appointment, they know you exist and are pregnant which could cause problems if you just refuse to go.
09-04-2013 06:58 #3
I remember feeling invaded by the questions I was asked when booking in, but the midwife said it was to monitor the risk of pnd. Sorry you had a crappy midwife.
Surely you wouldn't have to go back for your appointments, but I would. Your next appointments won't be full of questions like that and it will, hopefully, be a much more pleasant experience
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09-04-2013 07:01 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
I'm doing shared care with them too. Your second appointment is probably with the doctor rather than the midwives. They cancelled my second appointment there (with the actual doctor) because they said he reviewed all my paperwork and I was such low risk that he was comfortable with me just going to my GP for that week and me not coming back until my 30 week midwife appointment. In your orange book it should tell you exactly what to expect at the appointments when they see you, I wonder if there if there is anything you don't NEED done you could skip? I wouldn't (me personally). All the paper work they would have to be done themselves, same as the compulsory questionnaires about depression/abusive relationships. The midwives that did mine loved me because everything was so quick with no problems, first pregnancy ever, no family medical history, no drinking/smoking etc. so it was so quick haha even had a few pages crossed out completely. I have my next appointment next Monday so I can update you with what happens at the 30 week appointment. But yeah, don't know what happens at the second appointment with the doctor, as they cancelled it for me
09-04-2013 07:12 #5
I think the compulsory ones are after your 20w scan and at 36 weeks. I went at around 25 weeks but decided against any more non compulsory appointments
09-04-2013 07:34 #6
That is part of the reason I went private, because for some reason if you use public care you are a second rate citizen who must be in a bad relationship/single/unemployed etc. I was appalled by the questions asked in a public child health clinic after I had my first child, it sounds similar to what was on the forms you filled out. I have heard that about the Royal though so maybe it is just their way, I'm not sure, but if I were in your situation I would just continue GP visits until 30 weeks and then get acquainted with the midwives at the hospital. No, they cannot turn you away if you turn up in labour, they have a duty of care, however you will only be able to stay 24hrs if your birth is fine. Best of luck.
09-04-2013 07:47 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
If you did turn up at the hospital without having seen them at all before then, whether they let you birth there or not would depend on the hospital. With no prior care throughout your pregnancy, you are automatically considered high risk so depending on the hospital you might be sent off to another hospital that is better equipped for high risk women.
I know a lady who didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour and that's pretty much what happened to her.
But, the hospital might be just as happy for you to go in with a medical history provided by your GP. It might be best just to ask them. It does sound like your midwife was just following procedure though, everyone gets asked those questions. She probably just has a terrible bedside manner. But there's a good chance you won't have to see her again anyway and your next midwife might be awesome so personally I'd go back and give them another chance.
09-04-2013 08:10 #8
I'm doing shared care, and only go to the hospital for the checkups very rarely. Everytime I go I see someone different, and some are better than others.
As your not going there often I wouldn't worry about it if you stuck to it, but if you don't feel like that's the place for you, talk to your GP about it and he might be able to recommend something better.
I know they ask you if your partner lives with you or not based on a support thing. They want to know that you have a support network once the baby is born, as they have to look out for reasons that you could end up with postnal depression. I found this question silly too, but it does make sense.
Some of the other ones I've never heard of being asked, so it might just be something that that hospital asks.
09-04-2013 08:34 #9
I was given the choice to see the midwives otherwise I could see my gp or my ob. I'm in nsw so a completely different hospital but my midwife was lovely, some of the questions were ridiculous I agree but she explained why they needed to ask etc.
Sounds like you just got a horrible middie.
Sent from my talky stick
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09-04-2013 08:43 #10
Really? I'm going public this time after having gone private with my first 2 pregnancies, and don't feel like I'm being treated like a second rate citizen at all. I was given the choice of doing shared care or going to the hospital for all my appointments, and I chose the hospital and midwife care...
I'm sure I was asked all the same questions, they'd be standard. I wasn't upset or concerned by any of the questions I was asked, just figured it was procedure and went with it.
As for do you have to go, probalby not. If you're all booked in and you're getting all you need from your GP, then stick with your GP. I don't think you'll be disadvantaged come labour time. As you said yourself, you'll probably end up with a midwife you never met throughout your pregnancy anyway.
I've opted for a student midwife. She'll be at all my appointments leading up to D day, and will be there in the room while I labour and give birth, so it will be nice to have a familiar face attending to my care.
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