To be fair, from the OP's posts it doesn't sound like they have asked for or are expecting a gift/cash, just when asked what they would like that's what they said they would like. Some people will want to give a gift no matter what, might as well be something you have use for rather than unnecessary crap and clutter.
It sounds to me like they wouldn't care about the amount op.
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05-04-2013 07:13 #61
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05-04-2013 07:18 #62
If that was me, and I was asking the guests to cater my engagement party for me I'd be explicitly saying no gifts, just your presence.
05-04-2013 07:32 #63
I think that's extremely rude! Our engagement party was catered and we supplied everything!!! I never asked for anything however we got spoilt with beautiful gifts from a lot of people. Maybe a good idea is to buy a platter, you can pick them up for less than $15 and put your food on their and they can have it afterwards?
05-04-2013 07:34 #64
I think $30 is more than enough OP.
05-04-2013 07:40 #65
My mum and dad were together 14 years and 4 kids later before they got married lol.
their engagement party was a family bbq with fam and friend i guess abit bogan like but mum and dad supplied everything and asked for nothing but hey come.
at their wedding they had a wishing well & from memory on their wedding invites after your invited to blah blah blah " although a gift from you would be swell we also have a wishing well" yes it rhymed lol
they got $1600 in their wishing well and that paid for mum and dads 3 day get away aka their honeymoon aswell as pots and pans and the usual wedding gifts.
It didnt matter if there was gifts or wishing well money mum and dad were just happy to finally tie the knot and have everyone they invited show up. Not everyone gave a gift and not everyone gave money i dont feel thats a point of a wedding and my parents felt the same way.
If you want to give them money go for it and yes $30 is ample.
I dont get the whole enegagement gift/money when you then get one at for the wedding?!?!? maybe thats just me
Last edited by MonsterMoosMum; 05-04-2013 at 07:44.
05-04-2013 07:42 #66
05-04-2013 08:08 #67
To answer the OP, $30 is totally acceptable if you decide on the cash option.
I really think they should have told you not to worry about giving them a gift though, especially considering the whole BYO nature of the shindig.
I'd be embarrassed to ask for cash if I hosted a party that the guests were expected to cater for!
05-04-2013 08:27 #68
Don't push yourself to give more than you can afford.
This is why I absolutely detest wishing wells, people always give more than they realistically can afford because they are worried it isn't going to be enough.
So you are bringing alcohol plus a dessert and they want cold hard cash as well. Sounds like a good deal for them! Very greedy if you ask me, they might be strapped for money but what about others like yourself, you basically have to cater their party....
If you don't want to give cash maybe take your $30 and buy them a bottle of wine or champers to keep, don't give more than you can afford.
Last edited by Clementine Grace; 05-04-2013 at 08:34.
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05-04-2013 08:29 #69
05-04-2013 08:39 #70Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I think it's pretty embarrassing when people go to these lengths to request expensive gifts/money when they get engaged and then they get married either many years later or don't get married at all!! I had to take cash along for 'their future home' to an engagement party, shock horror the cash is all but gone now and she often speaks of cancelling the wedding
Anyway, I am totally over it all. It's just getting too much. Expensive registries for engagements/weddings/baby showers and it's 'rude' to not 'pay your way'. I feel like boycotting altogether to work out who my true friends are - the ones who want me at their wedding because they love me, or those who want me there on the provision that I bring an expensive gift or give a large amount of cash.
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