This was a really hard age with my DD and we ended up going down the Fedup/Failsafe road and it made a huge difference.
You've done a good thing by having some time out
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03-04-2013 19:38 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
03-04-2013 19:41 #12
I have no experience yet, DS1 is only 19mths. But just wanted to send you virtual sympathy & hugs. It sounds tough!
03-04-2013 20:23 #13
03-04-2013 20:56 #14-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Sorry you're having such a rough time Bennos mummy.
I'm not a single mum and my boy isn't 2 yet. That being said I'd like to offer a few thoughts based on what I've read/friends have said/life experience etc. Feel free to take the below with a grain of salt
1. There IS another reason for your DS's behavior, you've just got to figure out what it is (developmental stage, changes at home/care/school/he's picking up on your stress etc). There is no way in heck your little boy really hates you.
2. Considering the above, Don't take it personally. Try to take a step back, remove emotion and look at it from a 'management' perspective. If you worked as a manager outside the home and had a problem staff member (being a di@k etc), what would you do? All the workplace manuals say try and find out what is causing the underlying behavior. Is the employee unchallenged with their work? Are they frustrated they don't have enough training? Do they simply need coaching with their people skills? Is someone bullying them?
- The important things are to not take it personally, don't let emotion get in the way of effectively addressing the issue and seek help from Experts and colleagues. It's hard but try not to let it get you down as that would be counterproductive.
3. Take time for yourself. Set aside a big chunk of time each week and spend it doing something you love. Don't let housework or anything else stop you. Eg Saturday night when DS is in bed have a glass of red wine, plonk yourself on the lounge and watch Some soppy DVD.
Best of luck xxx
03-04-2013 21:28 #15
It is so hard
I think they all go through these horrid phases. My ds certainly has.
What has helped;
- 123 magic (with consistency and persistence!)
- it got to the point for me where whining went straight to the bedroom. I would tell him I didn't want to hear that voice, so either talk to me nicely or go and whine in your bedroom. Every. Single. Time.
- mock his bad behavior. Lol, sounds bad - but I think my ds saw how silly he looked. He sometimes found it funny and would start laughing and lighten up. Dh would say 'nope ds, that wasn't loud enough. You can do better than that!' it certainly wasn't the effect ds was going for. Dh filmed him mid tantrum once and played it back to him.. That also helped.
- I over praised the good moods. Like seriously over board and went out of my way to make sure he knew how much fun we could have when he wasnt in a stink.
- lots of one on one time.
Ds is out of it completely now. It does pass
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