Patience is the key. Sounds like completely normal behaviour for his age to me.
I agree that hitting is a ridiculous concept... we're trying to teach them NOT to hit, how do we do that by hitting them? That's just crazy.
My boy was 3 in December, and has had a couple of horrid stages between 2 and now. Sometimes the stages feel like they're going on forever and ever but they do eventually come to an end.
For me the key is to treat him like a person, get down to his level, talk to him, explain things to him, tell him why his behaviour isn't appropriate, decide on a FAIR punishment if the behaviour continues and follow through with it. As for tantrums, I always start out a tantrum telling him it's ok to be upset, to calm down and come to me when he's ready and I would comfort him, and then let him go for broke. Just ignore it all together. Make sure they're in a space where they can't do damage to themselves or anything important and just let them go. It's far less stressful to go sit down and breath and wait for them to come to you. Obviously this is hard if you're out and about or trying to GET out and about... we're a very very busy family and are out more often than not, but you just have to adapt really!
The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Most 2-4 year olds behave this way, you're not a terrible parent who's made your child act like this, and he's not a terrible child just trying to push your buttons. He's just acting his age. Good luck!
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08-04-2013 09:00 #11
08-04-2013 10:25 #12
If its any reassurance I think most people have been where you are with their 2 year old. I think it's "normal" behaviour although that does not excuse it or make it any easier.
My 2 year old whinges and cries a lot. She has started this thing where everything hurts! Very tiring.
We manage it with quiet times which is essentially a time out. She hates it and it does work for us.
08-04-2013 12:06 #13
Mellysmama ~ there is only so much time you can take to explain things to kids who don't want to listen? What?
Listening is very hard for this age group. They are distracted by everything, are still learning to use the sense of listening and integrate this into their behaviour, and find it hard to listen when their attention is taken up with (every) other thing(s).
There is all the time in the world to explain why you want the behaviour you want, to spend quality time playing and to model it. This does not occur by spanking.
I agree peanuthead ~ he may have picked it up from another kid who is hitting him, although it is also a frustration response, and a 'testing the boundaries' thing. Spanking is the worst response to these behaviours; to any behaviours in my book. Never had a need for it, never will. Ever. I personally see it as lazy parenting, violent and destructive, but I don't want to start that argument in here. This thread is about constructive ways to change behaviour.
You sound like you are on the right track, peanut. I'd keep going as you are, be as consistent as you can, and his behaviour will change as he matures and understands. Good luck. I'll come and post again when I have time. I've not had it yet...dealing with a toddler on holiday at mo! But I had to respond to the suggestion of hitting/spanking your son...I see others have the same response...(in toddler speak)...NOOOOO!!
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15-04-2013 21:08 #14
Peanut ~ how is everything going with your little guy?
I was amazed yesterday that the 'conditioning' is working with mine ~ he actually stopped when I said 'stop!' in the park, despite having his brain on the ducks we were feeding.
When shopping, have you tried giving him little jobs like carrying/holding something (like the basket, or an item whose packaging he can't bite through!), and talking about and asking him to point to certain colours, items, etc (an 'education session')?
I'm going to get a little white board or one of those drawing boards with the plastic film that you pull up to clear, and a plastic stick to draw so he doesn't get covered in marker, so my guy can tick off the items as we buy them, and this will also give him an idea of how long we will be at the shop, something to hold, and an immersion in the experience. Lately he doesn't want to go back in the pram after he's been out for a bit, and doesn't want to ride in pram anywhere he's walked before. Often I can get him back in with the offer of a snack, and usually he's fine with one of his books/toys to hold, but lately...
I discovered an ear infection due to his balance issues last week, and he's been cranky from that, which doesn't help.
Let us know how you are doing with the 123Magic book. Hope he is improving.
16-04-2013 12:32 #15
So glad I found this thread!
The last week and a half DS has been trialling DP and I as parents and really trying to push us to our limits
but it is definitely comfort to read through these replies and see that it can be a) sleep related - which makes sense thanks to daylight savings being a real shocker for us! and b) his age - which I kind of just thought anyway, but sometimes you have to question everything you do as a parent
I'll make sure we keep on his diet and ensure he is having less sugar, but as it stands being 3 in June his only "treat" would be an occasional biscuit or slice of cake and he still only drinks either water, milk or juice (might need to cut back on the juice)
Also being 10 weeks pregnant I guess my patience is a lot shorter than it should be some days, so I know I need to work on that and counting under my breath.
Any ideas for activities that can help stem boredom? Seeing as at most his attention span on a favourite activity can be about half an hour to an hour??
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