I apologize in advance if this comes out fractured I need to get it off my chest .
I was with the same man for 5 years and married to him for 11 months, We have a 2 year old son together. In November the relationship broke down and we went our separate ways.
I ended up moving to Queensland from Melbourne to make a fresh start met someone and fell pregnant. Being pregnant and away from my family I had a breakdown and came back here to get some help and spend time with my family. While I have been here I came to realise I can't go back to Queensland.
When I suggested to the father of this unborn baby that he move down here we got in to a huge fight and he ended the relationship.
Since then he has been sending me nasty text messages which is sending me spiraling further in to depression. It has gone to the point where I dont feel anything but indifference to this unborn child inside me. When I was pregnant with my first child I fell in love with him straight away, with this child I burst in to tears just at the thought of looking for baby stuff.
I am going to have this baby no matter what but I feel like I cant do this.
Even as I sit here writing this the nasty texts have started. He is currently blaming me for not being able to see his other child when it has nothing to do with me. I am going to have to change my number.
I am going to seek psychiatric help but for now I am so lost and lonely I just needed to get it all off my chest.
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22-03-2013 11:10 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
No where to turn
22-03-2013 11:38 #2
it sounds like you're not coping and seeking help is a great idea. I do think your feeling towards the baby you're carrying have to do with your emotional status, you might be depressed (as you mentioned).
Its unfortunate he's being abusive and doesnt sound like he'll be much help raising and providing for his child but at least you are with family away from him (imagine what he might be like under the stress of having a newborn to care for) and its good you have family around you.
So what im saying is you seem to be going in the right direction... things will look up soon!
22-03-2013 11:41 #3
Firstly big big hugs. It is a horrible position you're in. I don't really have any advice or wisdom on the subject but I couldn't read & not comment.
I could only suggest changing ur number, seeking help as you suggested & finding comfort with your family. Just remember that even though this man is the father of you're unborn child, that has nothing to do with your child. That is a precious beautiful gift inside you're tummy- remember how amazing it is that you are creating life. Who the father is, is irrelevant. Spend some time working on pulling yourself out of depression & remembering how amazing it is to be a woman & a mother. Use your family as a crotch. That's what family is for. I wish you all the best. Big big hugs xxx
22-03-2013 11:47 #4
What a hard situation
I have been in a tough situation while pregnant (and with a newborn) and I think the pregnancy and all the associated hormones make everything that much harder. I think while you are vulnerable, it is best to stay near your family and if you need to, change numbers or if the messages are threatening, get some kind of order against him.
Best of luck, you are not alone.
22-03-2013 11:54 #5
No advice, but I couldn't read and run. It sounds like you're having a horrible time of it I think seeking help is definitely a smart move. I think being with your family where you have some support is a really wise idea.
22-03-2013 12:02 #6
You poor thing I really can't offer any advice either other than to say that once you get through this enormous bump in the road you will no doubt have an amazing and true bond with your new baby. It can be hard emotionally for any pregnant woman as our hormones are all over the place, but you have all this added stress so it's no wonder you are feeling somewhat numb towards your unborn.
The storm will pass eventually.
22-03-2013 12:07 #7
22-03-2013 14:03 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Oh man what a bad situation but you have your family so lean on them.Can you try to get the father of the baby to go to counseling If you two dont figure out something it will be a long 18 years to have to deal with each other.
11-04-2013 00:16 #9
Okay. Here's what you do.
1. Change your number. A SIM card costs $2.
2. Do not give your number out except to trusted or essential parties like your mum or your doctor.
3. Refrain from Facebook activity for a while. (Block him from your profile while you're at it).
3a. Block his email address on your email system.
4. Put anyone associated with this man on the coat. Even if they don't have anything to do with this incident, cut them off for a while.
5. Document all texts and report this ******* to the Police. They will follow it up.
6. Attend a legal aid office and take steps to ensure that you document all that is happening in the event that this man suddenly decides to claim custody, which is his right.
7. Find someone to talk to or buddy around with. If you can't or don't want to, that's ok too
This isn't running away. It's about protecting yourself and your child and getting the space you need to ALLOW the love that is inside you to BREATHE and EXPAND. Harrassment is designed to make you feel like crap or that it's all your fault or that your baby is somehow connected to it. Disconnect yourself from all the blah blah bull**** that this guy is causing and rediscover your love. Because it's there. I can see it in every word that you have written.
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