Different people's relationships work in different ways. If I were in a new relationship, or with someone I didn't trust, then I would be more inclined to agree with you. But, to me, a marriage means no secrets at all. There is nothing I would deliberately keep from DH, nor him from me.
I trust that he wouldn't tell anyone something that was a secret, and I trust him to act responsibly with things that I tell him - and the same goes in reverse.
It's not a cop out at all. I couldn't imagine being in a marriage where that wasn't the case.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 21 to 26 of 26
18-03-2013 17:24 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
The Following User Says Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:
18-03-2013 17:42 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Sounds like this secret is huge... and you need support while processing it. How else is your husband going to support you if he doesn't know. "We don't keep secrets from each other" isn't a cop out. Its a foundation of respect and support within the relationship.
18-03-2013 17:54 #23
I haven't read all of the responses, but I think it is pretty rough to divulge something to someone and then swear them to secrecy from their life partner, their sounding board, their soft place to land.....It just isn't fair.
18-03-2013 18:01 #24
I would tell my DH, simply because I tell him everything. We have no secrets and I trust him more than anyone else.
18-03-2013 18:07 #25
My ILs have often been a sticking point between hubby and I. He gets defence if I say anything slightly negative about them. He once told me its 'none of my business' as they 'aren't my family'. I was really hurt, as I believe they ARE my family.
Just as your DH is now a member of your family, and therefore shouldn't be kept in the dark.
If it were me I'd give dad the heads up that you need to tell hubby.
18-03-2013 19:31 #26
When DH got home from work, he could see that I was devastated, n quickly freaked out while I tried to compose myself (I even had to assure him that everything was fine with me (more or less), Lil Miss C etc., then gave him a run down of the lead up to the confession by Dad, but told him that Dad requested DH not know.
DH is totally fine with it, and my Dad - accepting that he had a reason to keep the secret. Let me just say: I have an amazing husband. I knew that he always valued trust n integrity, but as I mentioned, I was totally unsure what this meant if he found out I had a secret. So DH does not know the secret, however is aware of the circumstances surrounding 'the reveal'. When I speak to my father next, I will explain this to him.
Thank you everyone - your words of advice helped greatly to get my jumbled thoughts out and making sense.
Now to continue 'processing' the secret. Hmmmmm.....
The Following User Says Thank You to mushiedaina For This Useful Post:
TribalanceTriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Have You Tried Using Medical Marijuana?General depression and blues
A - Z of baby girl namesGames & fun stuff
Help with baby names please!Choosing Baby Names
Egg Donation in South Africa #14Egg Donation
Pokemon go. Chat #2General Chat
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF