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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013

    Default Desperate new mum who doesn't know what to do! HELP!!

    Hi all! I'm new to this site and also a new mummy to my gorgeous baby boy Riley who just turned 7 weeks. The reason why I'm asking for advice is we have several issues that need ironing out. Riley is on formula due to supply issues with my breast milk.
    1. I have issues getting Riley to sleep and stay asleep longer than an hour or two at anytime day or night.
    2. We have follow on feeding issues that stem (I am assuming) from the little sleep he is getting, despite my constant attempts to get him to sleep. That's all I ever do if I'm not feeding him! Also he never takes the same amount each feeding and I'm worried that he isn't eating enough. Sometimes it's 40mls, sometimes it's 120mls which is also driving me bonkers because I never know how much formula to make up!
    3. He won't resettle in his cot at night after his first sleep for the night, despite my attempts to settle him. (I started rocking him without knowing that he can become dependent on that to go to sleep - which he now has).
    4. He won't sleep in his cot during the day and most times at night during the wee hours, he will only sleep in his baby swing in the lounge.
    5. He wakes up if his dummy falls out which drives me bonkers but he won't sleep without it most times.
    I feel like all I'm ever doing is feeding him or trying to get him to sleep and it's wearing me out!! We have established the bath, bottle bed routine and it's working great I just need him to resettle at night so we can both get some much needed sleep! I swaddle him at night but under the arms as he hates having his arms restricted (he squirms and wriggles and eventually cries bloody murder if I swaddle him up to his shoulders).
    Basically... HELP!!!!

  2. #2
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    First off, it's early days not many babies have found their niche or settled into a solid routine by 7 weeks. You and baby will get through this stage.
    I'll go through your list and answer as best I can, from my experience:
    (keeping in mind that I never let DD cry or self settle)

    1) Him sleeping an hour or 2 between feeds is considered normal at this early age. My DD has never had long daytime naps, even now I'm lucky if she naps for an hour.

    2) don't concern yourself too much with his milk intake- unless he is having other issues like reflux or colic than try to go with the flow with his feeding; let him lead the way, he wont allow himself to starve. If he's gaining the appropriate amount of weight and your child health nurse isn't concerned, then you shouldn't be, either. My DD is 8 months old and it's always been give or take with how much she takes; some feeds she'll polish off the entire bottle, other times she leaves half. There's always another feed that's going to be offered soon so don't stress about that.
    I continue to make up her bottles as directed- meaning I'll make them 150ml, even if she only drinks half, at least it's all there in case she wants the lot.

    3)Again, quite normal. Depending on which route you want to take (allowing him to self settle, rocking, bed sharing with you) bedtime may take some time for you and him to establish. For me, it was whatever worked- I still rock her to sleep most nights and also let her sleep in my bed if she wont settle again in her cot. This works for us, find what works for you. For me, it was all about everyone getting some much needed sleep and I know she wont be in my bed forever.

    4) DD never did this, either- her daysleeps were always either in her bouncer or pram. It wasn't until she was a few months old that she slept soundly enough for me to carry her off to her cot. I still have never been able to put her down whilst she was still awake in her cot and leave her to fall asleep. She usually just falls asleep wherever she is and I then move her to her cot. She will sometimes wake up and give me a sleepy smile and then roll over and fall back asleep in her cot Other times, she's like "um, what are you doing? Not going back to sleep now!" lol.

    5) The dummy! Argghh! I remember that stage! I dreaded ever giving her one as it would fall out of her mouth every 5 miutes and I was up and down all night putting it back in. Thankfully she now does this herself if it falls out!

    I don't know how helpful I've been, but basically just wanted to say that the newborn stage is over before you know it doesn't last forever. Do what makes you and baby happy. Persevere. Try to relax.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 18-03-2013 at 11:48.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    Als85Rileysmumma  (18-03-2013),Bubbles10  (18-03-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Hi ladies!
    First of all THANK YOU!! I didn't realise that this was normal because everyone else's kids seem to sleep and stay asleep when resettled, much to my frustrations! Riley is a happy kid, he coos, laughs, smiles and plays happily between feeds, I just wish he would sleep longer rather than cat nap! I guess I have another 5 weeks to ride out and see if anything changes, I guess. My Dr. is happy with his progress, he is putting on plenty of weight, growing & is developing normally so I guess I shouldn't worry too much... It's just frustrating at the moment because nothing is predictable & formula is expensive!! Especially the one he is on which is for hungry babies because my little man's appetite is huge!
    And by the way, I don't know what planet you live on but regular meals and a daily shower are a luxury these days and that only happens if my hubby is home or if a friend comes over! Lol, every new mum will know exactly what I mean! I live on coffee and one meal a day and that's the one my husband cooks at night!
    Thanks soo much for your advice, I guess I just have to ride out this stage.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yes - as they've said - all normal at this age. For me that time was a bit of a blur. Everyone said to enjoy it because it doesn't last - and they were right! My boy is six months old now - all grown up - ha ha! But here are some things that might help - use a carrier/sling/wrap of some sorts, they're great for doing two things at once, like, getting baby to sleep while you're making lunch/dinner, cleaning up, etc.

    As for the dummy - could you try replacing it with a muslin wrap? My boy sucks on a wrap or any piece of cloth lying around, and if he can't get to anything he'll grab what he is wearing and suck on that. Now he sucks on either the wrap or his thumb.

    With night sleeping we co-sleep using a cot joined up to the bed. I know that's not something everyone can/wants to do but I like to think it has helped him sleep well at night, as he has two excellent role models sleeping right next to him to show him how it's done!

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    I don't have much advice for sleeping (plexus gave great response), but did want to say next time you or DH goes to the shops, get snack foods. In the first few weeks DD would only sleep in someones arms so the 5 minute breaks I'd get when I could put her down I prioritised bathroom over food. I could sneak in snacks far easier than a big meal!

    It does get easier!!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Pantsy For This Useful Post:

    Als85Rileysmumma  (18-03-2013)


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