My ds who is nearly 5 has lots of friends at school, including my good friends boy who is autistic who is a lovely boy, I've been along to alot of information sessions etc to learn more about autism considering he is my ds's good friend and we have so much to do with the family socially and there is occassions where I look after him so I thought it best all round if I educated myself. I have no issues at all with this boy as I know his mannerisms, moods etc now.
But ds has 2 other boys he associates with at school that I just don't like much. This one boy is 5 going on 10, always has an answer for everything, he has been in trouble often for fighting on the school bus. I have tried to avoid playdates at most opportunities but I know I shouldn't and am trying to be a little bit more chilled.
So last week after ds pestering me all week re a play over I picked ds and master L up from school. He gets in the car and says "Can we swear at your house?" Ds says "no we aren't allowed to swear at our house hey mum" in which I replied "that's right, no swearing allowed at our place". master L says "well mum lets me swear at my place". I am thinking surely not but anyway away we went home. We get home and I put ds2 down for his sleep and tell the boys it's quiet time while ds2 is sleeping so how about choosing a movie and watching it. Master L says "do you have scary movies with blood" I say "no" He says "how about movies with fighting". I am now thinking, what is with this kid. I explain that ds doesn't watch those types of movies. I spend all arvo looking at the clock wishing it was time for his mum to collect him. I have had to tell him things more than once, he jumps on lounges and ds's bed, ds came in to tell me he was being nasty to the dogs and smacking the puppy. I took them swimming in the pool and he holds ds under water. He slammed ds's fingers in the bedroom door and then disn't seem fazed that ds was screaming his head off and I seriously don't think it registered he had hurt ds. I was exhausted by the time he went home.
This same child cut his finger off with a fishing knife to the point it was hanging by the tendens so he literally decided to keep cutting and cut it off. How or why his dads fishing knife was within his reach is beyond me and I worry about ds going over there for a play on Friday!
I know we can't and shouldn't try to choose our children's friends but...
It doesn't seem to impact on ds's behaviour which is a positive.
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06-03-2013 17:41 #1
Do you have friends of your children that you don't like?
06-03-2013 17:55 #2
It sounds like there is something wrong with that kid. I would be exhausted too! My 17 year old sister has a friend who I have known since they were 5 that I cannot stand. She does my head in. When she was little she would come over and cry and whinge about everything. Now she is older and sucks up to me every time I see her. She is just someone I will never take to.
06-03-2013 17:58 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
He cut his finger off?
DD has a friend with bratish tendencies but I now take back everything I have thought about her.
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06-03-2013 18:01 #4
Personally I would be cancelling the Friday play date. Not for the behaviour as whilst its full on I appreciate some kids are allowed to do things in their home that I wouldn't allow. What would make me cancel us the intentional slamming of fingers in doors and what you said about the chopping the finger off. That made my blood run cold.
Can you or would you try another play date at your house to try and gauge more about the other child?
I had DS's friend here one day that swore and non stopped asked for the Xbox on and to play games that my DH plays, not games I believe kids should be playing. I have to admit he hasn't been back as I was taken quite back by his behaviour that I've gone off play dates in general for the time being!
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06-03-2013 18:01 #5Senior Member
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- Nov 2008
I would never have that devil child over again !!! Encourage your son to play with other kids .... That kid sounds scary!!
Luckily I have not had that experience ..yet ...
06-03-2013 18:03 #6
Ok if some 5 year old kid cut his own finger off he would not be hanging out with my children. The violent movies, the hurting your DS and not noticing plus the finger thing... no way.
06-03-2013 18:09 #7
Not a 'friend' but a relative - my nephew. Kinda reminds me of the kid described by the OP.
'Children Of The Corn' comes to mind.
Thankfully he lives interstate. He is honestly so intolerable on so many levels that we would be happy not to see him again.
06-03-2013 18:11 #8
No way in the world would I be having him over for a playdate or letting my child go over there. Cut his own finger off? Slammed your son's fingers in the door? Mean to animals? Eek. I'd be doing all I could to distance my son from him.
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06-03-2013 18:13 #9
Sounds like he has something mentally going on I kinda feel sorry for him as he is clearly not getting the appropriate help at home he needs and think you should cancel the play date at his house unless maybe you could go along as well.
06-03-2013 18:14 #10
P.S KG - cancel the play date!
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