I agree with previous posters - such a sad predicament with no clear right or wrong.
It was her body but it was the couples baby. They obviously wanted and cared for the baby but seeing their previous babies suffer they wanted to spare this baby suffering.
However I have not had the experience of a late termination and imagine it would be terrible mentally and physically.
I also hated the fact she asked for more money even though it was described as a moment of weakness. If she truly felt the weakness because of hearing about the suffering this baby could face - asking for more money doesn't make sense and sounds greedy.
However it didnt sit right that the parents, once the Surrgate mother found parents willing to adopt the baby - trig to challenge it just to put the baby in state care.
Such a sad situation
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05-03-2013 15:34 #21
05-03-2013 15:40 #22
Not entirely sure how I feel about the biological parents or the surrogate. I'm sure they both regret aspects of the situation.
Just glad the adoptive family were there to take in baby S, look after her and support her through all her trials abs medical procedures. I think its good she ended up with then, not her biological parents or her surrogate carrier
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05-03-2013 15:45 #23
Sounds like an awful situation all round.
There's probably no "right" answer. Though I agree asking for more money was poor taste.
05-03-2013 15:50 #24
I agree with Rainbow. Both sides are at fault. The surrogate shouldn't have asked for more money to terminate and it seems she was doing it for the money.
But then the bio parents got pretty heavy handed with trying to force her to have a late term abortion, and I find that distasteful. But again.... asking for another 5k after they offered 10k to abort left a bad taste in my mouth.
So I would say I both feel for both parties and judge them a bit
05-03-2013 15:52 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
I think its a bit presumptive to say that Baby S has a miserable life ahead of her. She wakes up smiling every day, she is very much loved. Many people have pain in their lives, it doesn't mean they are better off not being here.
Anyway, I feel for all of them but like RainbowRoad said, regardless of contracts etc, the surrogate can't be forced to terminate the pregnancy as she has bodily autonomy.
I'm glad the baby is with a loving family now and I think it was very courageous of the surrogate.
05-03-2013 15:55 #26
Very difficult situation but this is why I don't agree with paying a surrogate money.
05-03-2013 15:56 #27
How awful for everyone involved. I can see both sides of the story and honestly I just can't imagine what I'd do in either position.
I can say one thing though, I wouldn't ask for more money as a part of my decision making process. It just wouldn't even occur to me. This is a living being they're talking about!
I agree, commercial surrogacy is a bad bad idea for this very reason.
05-03-2013 16:01 #28
Wow, that's a terrible situation for everyone! Heartbreaking for all involved too. It would be frustrating. It said that a contract was signed by all parties stipulating they would abort in the event of severe medical issues, surely this should've been discussed & the surrogate not sign it if she is against abortion?
Such a tough situation & makes it hard for other people that need to go through this to have a baby. I'd be terrified of something happening, that initially is agreed upon but then the surrogate changes their mind.
I feel for all involved here and hope the little one does well.
05-03-2013 16:16 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
I think surrogacy has, unfortunately, got so many potential problems with it.
This is obviously a unique situation, but one that could happen to anyone going through it.
I've got to say, I don't think it would be for me.
05-03-2013 16:24 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
What an awful, awful situation for everybody involved. This would have to be about as bad as it gets. I do not judge either party, not even the extra $5,000 she requested. It does state an early termination of the pregnancy means the $2k monthly surrogacy fee ceases. I do feel that after such a brutal ordeal for this poor woman she is entitled to compensation.
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