Problems with Bio dad

[Aroha0509]

Thanks guys. I keep trying to get him to understand that the kids should come first but all I ever get back is "well if you're struggling we (he and his gf) will take them full time" and tonight he informed me that Miss 6 hate coming home to us. I've had it so am going to get formal orders in place so that this kind of selfishness is stopped as much as possible

[HugsBunny]

Formal orders are good to have. If I were you I would stop communicating with him unless its in writing.

[Aroha0509]

Everything has been on writing since Christmas. I am going to buy a diary tomorrow so I can start keeping track of the rest of it as well.

[HugsBunny]

Everything has been on writing since Christmas. I am going to buy a diary tomorrow so I can start keeping track of the rest of it as well.

If you can, take screen shots of any text messages too. Hopefully it won't get to court but its better to have everything documented 'just in case'.

[Aroha0509]

I agree. What really irritates me is that he saves his "I'm so concerned" rubbish for in writing or in front of other people because it makes him look better :/

[HugsBunny]

Oh yeah lol my XH is another one of these 'father of the year' types but only when there are witnesses. 'I just wanna see my kids' all heartfelt and puppydog eyes. Well ya know what? I've never stopped you from seeing them. Not once. You are the only one making that choice.

I used to worry so much about being painted as the bad guy and the biatch ex wife and now I'm like 'meh, I know the truth and anyone willing to believe his lies isn't worth my time'.

The good thing about court orders though is that you know you've got them to back you up. If he tries to say to you that you're not coping because of blah blah and he and his gf will take them on full time - laugh at him for a minute and then say 'oh sorry! You're serious? That's cute!' B¡tchy maybe but I believe he's trying to intimidate you and something like this will show him that its not working. I'm talking about after you have consent/court orders here.

Also if he makes comment about you struggling financially just laugh and say 'yeah ok' and then change the subject or don't respond at all. I think he's doing it to get a rise out of you so if you can stop reacting to his silly little comments he'll get bored and stop, just like any other bully :-)

[delirium]

So he whinges about 30 bucks in fuel to pick his kids up yet bc you won't pay his tolls it's means *you* are financially struggling and can't handle the kids?

Tell him to pay his own tolls and start contributing to his girls

[Aroha0509]

Thanks guys. It's good to know I'm not just being an unreasonable bish about it