I'm not sure if DS was saying it at 4 but he definately says it at 7! Than again, he has 2 older cousins, and a few older kids through friends so I wasn't overly surprised.
It's definately not nice and a bit confronting to hear, but I don't think it's anything to call a physchiatrist over. Sometimes DS will get rather frustrated and upset at his cousins and say "I wish they were dead", or sometimes they might say "I'm going to kill you" when playing with each other.
Sometimes I ignore it, other times I might give DS a hug and explain that I understand that he's angry but that's a really hurtful thing to say. If there mucking around than I might say "Well, that's a little drastic- why not just tickle him" (and then proceed to grab or chase them and tickle them). Kids think in the spur of the moment, they haven't quite got the grasp of mind your tongue.
I wouldn't make too much of a big deal about it. There's plenty of time, and plenty of words/phrases that you'll want to ban altogether.
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28-02-2013 09:48 #21
28-02-2013 09:50 #22
This started with DD when she was 4 as well and it came from school. She started doing little gun hands and saying "kill, kill" (said more like a pew pew shooting sound). I don't think she even realised the word she was actually saying was 'kill'.
Either way I made sure to explain to her that what she was doing/saying was not nice, but I didn't want to go into much detail as she didn't even know what a gun was - so I didn't want to give her more info than she already had. I remember when she first saw a toy gun and was asking me what it did and what it was for... eek!
She's 5 now and started watching the avengers with her cousins over Christmas and is now mad for Iron Man and some days plays with the boys as school killing zombies. Again, she doesn't actually know what a zombie is and I'm not going to explain it - she just thinks it is some sort of badie.
I'm not worried by this as she has a good understanding of what is 'real' (eg. watching reality TV - masterchef etc - she is often asking "is this one real?") and knows there is a difference between playing. I remember I'd always play cowboys and indians or cops and robbers with my older brother and his mates and 'dying' and 'killing' never had the same connotations as eg. when a pet died or you had to kill a bird that had been badly injured.
28-02-2013 09:56 #23
DD2 has just turned 4 and thinks killing means when DD4's teeth are hurting. Yes can you tell I needed to change my phrases instead of saying 'her teeth are killing her' has now changed to 'her teeth are hurting'.
DD1 is 6 and I'm definite she doesn't know what killing is either but she does understand death after explaining to her that her great grandmother passed away last month.
28-02-2013 09:57 #24
My boys say it... My youngest at 4 would have said it/known about it. I'm not sure about my oldest. They are typical boys they like to play war games with guns, they love zombies and the likes.
I guess i explained the concept of murder/killing from a young age anyway as i wanted to deter them from ever eating meat. So i would assume they put two and two together and realised that concept would extend to humans.
28-02-2013 10:09 #25
I have not yet read through beyond the first page of this thread, but just wanted to add something- earlier this week I took my 7 month old DD to her baby music class and the teacher sang a song about "there's a spider on your head, I wish that it was dead..." not entirely sure how I felt about that :/
But my opinion on the the whole "kill" subject is as follows; kids need to learn about death, yes, but it depends on the context in which they are using the word "kill".. I won't tolerate them threatening to kill another person etc, but would be comfortable with a 4 yo knowing the meaning of kill, death etc.
This reminds me of when DS was very young and we would visit the cemetary- I thought to myself, what do I tell him? Surely not that loved ones are buried there? I chose to tell him that it was a "special garden," a place to come and remember his great grandma and great grandfather, that the beautiful flowers and trees were a special memorial for people we love who were in heaven.
Last edited by ~Marigold~; 28-02-2013 at 10:14.
28-02-2013 10:19 #26
DD2 is 4 and understands it but moreso in the context of say a car accident. Doesn't overly worry me as all our kids are very aware that killing isn't nice etc etc
28-02-2013 15:16 #27
My older kids most deinitely know what death is and what it means to "kill someone/thing" in the literal sense BUT I have also heard them say to each other/friends etc "I'm going to kill you" more in a playing type way, than in anger. I know they dont literally mean they want to kill, even if it was said in anger. In all honestly I have probably said it myself - like when you come home to find the dog has chewed up all the sprinklers I may exclaim "God, I'm going to kill that dog!". Of course I am not going to, never have and the children know that! It is just an expression, possibly not the best choice, but maybe betterthan some expletives I can think of .
I imagine kids who have older siblings are exposed to more of these things at a younger age, its just par for the course and can't be helped, and naturally it will flow onto the kindy setting. That will probably be my youngest in a few years
28-02-2013 22:29 #28
I decided to ask DS1 this afternoon what to kill means and he said that if you kill something it dies and its dead. So yes he does understand.
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