That's exactly what I believe, I don't think either is better which is why it upset me that the implication was I was somehow 'less' than the poster.
Results 311 to 314 of 314
03-03-2013 19:58 #311
03-03-2013 19:59 #312
I think there's two different ways you can use "expect," in this situation.
I agree, that gifts or money gifts for weddings are common and thus you should expect that perhaps some of your guests may want to give you something, and therefore provide a place where they can put these gifts.
That's a reasonable expectation - the expectation that SOME people MAY want to offer a gift of some description.
Then there's the other kind of expectation, the one that seems greedy and selfish and just a bit icky really. The expectation that a person invited to a wedding HAS to give a gift and that is SHOULD meet or exceed a certain amount (the common suggestion being roughly the cost of their meal).
I don't think people are planning to turn a profit from their wedding, I understand anyone who did that would be insane because it's just so unlikely to happen. BUT I think that some seem to, even here in this thread they've suggested and hinted at it, but never wanting to outright confess to it for, I assume, fear of being called selfish or greedy, the fact that they expect their guests to contribute enough to cover their meals, and thus recoup the cost of meals. I suspect that some may have this in the back of their mind when they make their wedding plans... "Oh, yeah, it's a bit expensive, maybe a bit too expensive for us... but we'll get some of it back come the big day, so we might as well..." etc.
As for criticising the "next generation,"... meh. I'd rather be part of a generation who's fine with guests not forking out for MY wedding, than being part of a generation who thinks they're entitled to gifts because they've spent a lot of money on a day that means very little to anyone but the people getting married...
03-03-2013 20:07 #313
I even feel too guilty at the thought that some people may have to travel to attend!
I don't understand people who think they 'deserve' a sizeable gift, just because they decided to get married. It's bizarre.
FWIW, I usually give $50-$100 at a wishing well. I don't think any amount is wrong.
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03-03-2013 20:13 #314
Due to the sheer number of reports of posts in this thread it is now going to be closed.
OP I hope you've received a wide variety of opinions and can make a decision that suits your situation.
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