I don't think your over-reacting, sounds like classic passive aggressive behaviour.
In my experience the only thing that works in this situation is to behave as if you don't notice, and be friendly but always firm with the other person.
I swear to God that it seems to me that a lot of people who behave like this don't consciously plan their nastiness it is just the way they always treat others and it works for them quite well. People they don't like go away and people they don't mind dance to their tune (and mood swings!). It can make it a little bit more bearable if you think of them less like an equal and more like a grumpy cat you have to live with!
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27-02-2013 19:45 #21
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27-02-2013 20:04 #22
27-02-2013 20:11 #23
Yes I will continue as I am. The others all include me and she was quite nice to me today... I'm wondering if she maybe has a split personality - some days she's very *businessy* in her heels and skirt and other days she wears jeans and flats (trendy workplace). She's like two different people!
27-02-2013 20:33 #24
Some people are just a little slow to warm to new people. It's no excuse to treat you badly, but she may just not be ready to let new people in straight away.
Give it a few weeks and if she still gives you attitude just deal with her minimally.
Sometimes types like this woman respect you more when you don't suck up. Be civil & polite, but don't try and win her over with friendliness/kindness.
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28-02-2013 05:43 #25
28-02-2013 06:01 #26
05-03-2013 11:50 #27
Ok so I am officially miserable in this job - well, not the work itself but the office dynamics. This one person is making me miserable. The others are all nice but I don't deal with them as much so yep, I'm really feeling more and more uncomfortable every day.
No wonder so many mums want to start up a WFH business after becoming mums... When you have babies everything changes and you're not as prepared to go back and put up with office politics anymore.
Ah well, soon I will know what I need to do in my role well enough that I won't need to speak to this other woman much at all. One of the other people in my time just came and chatted to me during my lunch break and was really friendly and lovely... I didn't say anything of course but she did ask how it was all going and also said it is a bit hard at the moment due to upheavals in the team and if I had any questions make sure I ask the 'right people' who will be happy to help... I get the feeling this other girl is known for her attitude... Which means its not just me!
05-03-2013 11:59 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
I think you should stop giving this girl so much power. What I do when someone is nasty to me is count the number of times they are nasty to me in a day. It gets quite amusing actually and you can have a good old laugh to yourself and they have no idea what your going on about...it sort of disarms them a bit.
05-03-2013 12:22 #29
I think in time you'll probably find out that everyone hates this girl's guts. In fact, you'll probably end up bonding with the rest of the team over that very fact.
I know the feeling of returning to work once you're a Mum and not wanting to get involved in office politics all too well. My advice is to just ignore her, don't talk to her unless you absolutely have to from this point on. You've tried to be nice by the sounds of things and she hasn't reciprocated. Her loss. It's impossible to be friends with absolutely everyone in an office. And who knows, she'll probably wake up to herself eventually and come crawling to YOU for help anyway.
05-03-2013 12:29 #30
You poor thing, it really sounds like she is like that to everyone. Still you shouldn't have to put up with her being in a bad mood for whatever reason! She's probably like this towards you because you're new & those who've been there longer are probably able to fob her off easier. Still, it's not a nice environment to be
By the sounds of it, I'd guess maybe she's threatened by you? If work got someone to make my work load lighter I'd be so excited!! She should be happy. Maybe she doesn't want to hand control back over?
I hope she see's you're a nice person & doesn't feel threatened by you. When you're starting out at a job you should be able to ask 1000 questions! I tell our new staff that I'd prefer them to ask if they're not sure. It's harder to fix something that hasn't been done right.
Stick with it, I hope it gets better soon!!
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