Maybe it's just teething problems? Sometimes people can be quite guarded and a bit b!tchy until they feel settled around new people. I'd give her a week or two and if she's still the same then ask her if there's an issue.
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26-02-2013 15:05 #11
26-02-2013 15:19 #12
I would just keep being myself if I were you - don't go out of your way to be overly nice to her. Hopefully she'll warm to you eventually!
26-02-2013 15:32 #13
Ahhhh I bet that's it! She hasn't been buddies with me per se but she is sort of the 'go to' person as she's been there for several years. I might start asking the other senior person in my department a bit more often (not that I bug them much!), but she sits further away so it might be a bit obvious if I'm getting up to go ask her instead.
The coffee thing did upset me I must admit. But I just told myself not to let it bug me... I had a coffee from the coffee machine earlier so maybe she noticed I'd had one and didn't think to ask... She asked the others very quietly but I heard. When the others go, they ask me to come too.
Gah, I've never been in this situation before! I get along with most people. I like to think I'm open-minded, accepting and very non-bit.chy. Jakois I hope you're right and that it will be fine in a week or two and doesn't get worse!
26-02-2013 15:37 #14
I think it's too early to do anything formal and its most likely just teething problems. See how you go over the next few weeks. If anything major happens then of course you need to discuss with your manager.
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26-02-2013 15:58 #15
Maybe she wanted your role but didn't get it so she is taking it out on you?
27-02-2013 10:47 #16I'm in Sydney
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Give it some time, but speak to your manager about it definitely, they may have tips.
27-02-2013 19:11 #17
Just reporting back... Today was fine. i think it's just how she is maybe.
Although she rocked up at the same time as me when I was waiting for the lift this morning and when I said 'hi!' She gave a very dry 'hi' in return... I made conversation with her and she chatted back a bit.
Anyway I had to work with her today a fair bit and I was in a good mood so just was myself, and she was really friendly back so I was happy with that.
I think it's just how she is - she is quite buddy buddy with some if the others in our department (HR) so maybe she just takes some time. It's pretty annoying though as I don't get people who are like that. I treat everyone with friendliness especially new people who I try hard to help feel welcomed and included. I'm probably a more thoughtful person.
Im enjoying the job and the people in general a lot. Hopefully it's all good from here. Thanks all.
27-02-2013 19:21 #18-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Hmmm. If she was the go to person before you perhaps you could make a point of asking her advice "hi. I am sorry to bother you when you are busy but I need to know XYZ and with your experience I would really appreciate your help." Flatter her (a little bit dont go overboard) while you're asking for help.
Regarding the coffee/ cold shoulder just continue to be your normal friendly self. Perhaps get in early tomorrow and ask her/other ladies if they would like to go for a coffee. As a result of your friendliness either the cold lady will defrost or the other ladies will realise what's going on and include you anyway.
You will be one of the gang in no time
Last edited by VicPark; 27-02-2013 at 19:48.
27-02-2013 19:31 #19
This is typical woman behavior in the workplace.
I'm yet to work in a industry or workplace where women weren't a**holes to each other.
High school never strays far in a women dominated office.
I can't wait to leave my job just because of the way the women behave and b*tch about one another.
It really is horrific and I feel for you OP, unless something changes in these early stages its likely to change.
27-02-2013 19:37 #20
OP I completely agree with VicPark. Keep being your charming self and don't let her get the better of you. You'll get there in no time.
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