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  1. #1
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    Default No best friend :( help....

    Okay don't really want pity but curious.... I haven't had a real best friend since I was 12.... I am now 30. Everyone I know seems to have a bestie... Or at least a group of friends they are close to. I don't seem to fit anywhere and it's pretty lonely. I have lots of friends but I am not really a top priority to any of them just someone to catch up with once every 6 months. My siblings all live interstate so I don't have family to keep me busy and I have had 6 of my closest friends move overseas or interstate over the past 4 years.

    So what I want is someone I am close to. Can call anytime. Can hang out with. Has kids to be friends with my kids. My hubby is hardly around so I need friends. But where do I meet them when by this age people seem to have their friendships already well established? Has anyone met their best friend after they have grown up and had kids? I really fear I will be lonely forever. Husbands are good but I need female company.

    Any advise????

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    Default Re: No best friend :( help....

    No advice. I am the same. Sometimes I can't be bothered with the maintenance of friendships, other times I wish I had someone I could confide in who I can trust.

    I guess that's why I joined bubhub.

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    Default No best friend :( help....

    I'm same here! I know how your feeling OP!!!

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    Default No best friend :( help....

    Sorry but same here, even in mothers group, I love them all but they have their little groups of 2-3 who hang out more regularly and I'm not a part of any of them.

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    That does sound lonely, OP. I would go mental without my girlfriends.

    I suggest reaching out to mums at your local park / children's activities / children's schools. Invite them out for a coffee/playdate. This may seem too forward for you, but it is an important skill to develop, IMO. All friendships need to be facilitated along and maintained and take effort from both parties, so I think you may as well bite the bullet and practice. If it doesn't eventuate, then no harm done!

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    Default No best friend :( help....

    Heymegz where are you located?
    Your not the only one in this boat. I have a best friend but she never has time for me I'm always being pushed aside for her other friends. I have even tried to make friends through my dd at school all of which have turned to crap I'm always left out of everything. Dh goes out with his mates all the time and I resent him for that. It's hard as we get older after so much rejection but hang in there.

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    Default No best friend :( help....

    I find I make the effort and people aren't interested or move away... I recently realise they move because I am more attracted to friends that arent quite settled yet and I am very settled in my life. We moved into a new house and I was so excited that all our neighbours have kids ... But been here a year and in that time all our neighbours have sold up and moved so no kids anymore. I really must just repell people. Haha.

    I can't be that bad. Everyone who has moved away still remain close friends and I am always first on their list of ppl to see when they visit home.... But I need friends who are here in the flesh!

    Glad to see its not just me though.

    I live in Perth.

  8. #8
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: No best friend :( help....

    I'm the same. I've moved a lot in my life & have no besties ATM, haven't had for a long time. Well I do but they all live overseas. we chat on the phone & email but its just not the same as dropping in for a cuppa is it? I keep putting myself out there, trying to make friends, but like you say, most people seem to already have established friendships, or they move, which has happened a fair bit. I do have a few "friends"that I would love to get to know better but it takes time & we're all so busy.
    OP just keep plugging away, take every opportunity to get out there & meet people, it can be hard if you keep feeling rejected but like a PP said, keep practising! *hugs*

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    Default No best friend :( help....

    I made a new bestie at 30! From mothers group. She was the only one out of 10 I clicked with and vice versa for her. So it is possible! You do have to put yourself out there a bit though. I was the one to single her out and ask if she wanted to meet outside mothers group. So if you have opportunities like that then take them!

    Can you join a new playgroup or something like that?

    x

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    It's hard when you're grown up, isn't it? I don't have kids yet, but for what it's worth, I move a lot and often have to start new friendships.

    I make friends at work (two of my very best friends were made this way!), I make friends with my hairdressers (sounds funny, but I haven't had a hairdresser yet whom I didn't befriend and catch up with outside of the salon), and I chat with people I see doing activities I like.

    I hope you find a BFF soon x


 

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