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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    Hi all,

    So I'm pregnant with our first baby, and we're planning a family of 2 kids.

    MIL is a dangerous driver. She has been the cause of several serious accidents, has totalled 4 cars, and been in hospital several times. In my opinion, she should surrender her licence - I think it's outrageously irresponsible, she could kill an innocent person!

    I have only been in her car a few times and she basically cannot drive. She fails to see give way signs, forgets road rules, doesn't indicate, changes lanes without checking...etc, etc.

    I have told DH I do not want her EVER to drive our children in her car. A family member of mine was killed in a car accident and I take it really seriously.

    I am taking 1 yr of maternity leave then going back to work 3 days a week. She has offered to look after bub for half a day, then DRIVE him to his granddad's for the rest of the day.

    What can I do? I want to say no. DH is quite attracted to the idea of free childcare and bubs having time with grandma - however he would support me if I say no.

  2. #2
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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    Can granddad pick bub up from MIL instead? Make it out like its easier that way so she doesn't get huffy?

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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    Quote Originally Posted by Myztik View Post
    Can granddad pick bub up from MIL instead? Make it out like its easier that way so she doesn't get huffy?
    I was about to suggest this. Also maybe avoid giving her a car seat for bub. Or get her to stay at yours during that part of the day. Familiar surroundings and all

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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    I'd say no and put bub in daycare for the day - id pay extra to avoid it - I couldn't live with myself if something happened and with her history I wouldn't risk it. At my day care the 5th day is discounted - you might be able to use that as a reason? I also supervise my kids all the time and only left my DD with my sisters (at about 3 years old) when she could communicate with me. I might seem OTT but I am the one that needs to protect them. 😊

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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    I'm a believer in going with your instincts! I could live with perhaps offending her but if anything ever happened to my kids because I was afraid of hurting her feelings I couldn't live with that.

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    Go with your gut. If you don't feel right allowing her to drive your children then don't do it. I wouldn't be letting anyone drive my children if I wasn't 100% comfortable that they were a great driver.

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    Of course you can prevent it. You just have to be prepared to deal with back lash if she gets upset about it.

    Good luck!

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    Default MIL is a dangerous driver - can I prevent her from driving my children in her car?

    I'm with you OP - definitely don't let your precious baby go in a car driven by her! It's not worth the risk.

    You need to tell her your reasons, explain to her why she is not to drive bub anywhere. Surely she would understand the risk involved?

    I've lost an uncle in a car accident and it still upsets me 20 years on. It was totally preventable... I could never live with myself if I put DS in a car with someone I didn't 100% trust.
    Last edited by Taiyed; 21-02-2013 at 23:17.

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    Just say no - and tell her the truth about why you're saying no, it sounds like she needs a wake-up call. Your kids well-being is paramount and you would never forgive yourself if they were in an accident with her and you knew what she was like. It sounds as though you'd be putting your LO in daycare 2 days anyway, just pay for the extra day.

    We have had to tell MIL she cannot have DS at her house without DH or I being there due to safety issues involving BIL that lives with her. She's pretty un-impressed and think we're being unreasonable, but I don't give a hoot, DS's wellbeing comes before her feelings.
    Last edited by decemberbubba; 22-02-2013 at 07:54.

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    I would go daycare. I'd use the excuse that I want to tackle social interaction early.

    I would find excuses for her not to drive. I'll drive, I'll come and pick you up, car seat is so difficult to change over from different cars, I was heading over that way anyway, save some money- don't use petrol, we have 2 wages- we're in a much better position to afford it, etc etc
    Last edited by SimplyMum; 22-02-2013 at 08:21.


 

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