Hi all... im a first timer so sorry if this is int he wrong place or im not doing thi right but i really need to get this off my chest!
I recently found out I am pregnant with my 3rd... I have a son who is 6 and and a daughter who is 4. My husband and i only decided in december to start trying and we hit the nail on the head first go in Jan. Im currently 7 week. Due Oct 7th.
When we decided to start trying I was super excited. A new baby, another sibling for my gorgeous kids. Perfect.
The day after I found out I was pregnant I started freaking out. First about what if something is wrong with the baby. What if he/she is sick or disabled or ... just what if.
Then started the "what if this was the biggest mistake ever?". Will my kids hate having a brother or sister thrown in the mix? Is the age gap too big? OMG i have to start all over again... can we afford this? Can we still do all the travelling we do so often? will I cope? Will my husband resent me if this baby changes our life drastically and ill end up a single mum to 3 kids.
We moved 1500km away form family about a year and a half ago... this will be my first child away from everyone. Can I do this on my own?
Anyway... now that I have brought myself to tears AGAIN... i need to hear some positive stories. Is life with 3 a lot more different to 2?
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21-02-2013 11:56 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
21-02-2013 12:06 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I did some of this when I found out I was pregnant this time around. I have two children and we'd lost three pregnancies, so it definitely wasn't that I didn't want the baby, just as you know you want yours.
I think it just takes your mind a little while to adapt to such a massive change, to get your head around all of the differences it will make in your life. Over a few weeks you'll find you adjust to the idea and start just feeling excited and thrilled. It's just that temporary "No turning back now" feeling, which I imagine a lot of newly pregnant mums feel. Probably much like you'd feel if you accepted a great job in another State and then started to have second thoughts about the big changes, even though you know you really want that job.
I also had that awful fear that something was going to go wrong. After three losses, how could it possibly go well? I was envisaging every scary scenario possible. Each time I went for an ultrasound I'd mentally be rehearsing for bad news. And guess what - my baby girl miraculously seems just fine!
I wish I could tell you that in a few weeks or a month you'll stop stressing out and worrying about your child, but as you no doubt already know as a mother, that's always going to be there, although I think it becomes a lot less terrifying when you get some good scans back and other things to reassure you.
Just take it one day at a time and cut yourself some slack if you're a bit of a deer in the headlights at the moment.
21-02-2013 13:34 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
This is only my first but I've definitely had moments where I've suddenly thought...OMG what have we done?
Its not that I don't want the baby, he is very much wanted and so loved already, but I sometimes wonder how we are going to get him through to adulthood without screwing it up somewhere along the line.
I also get a bit freaked out when I realise just how much our life is about to change and how different things will be. I worry that we will be tired and stressed all the time, we will fight/argue all the time, our relationship will change because we won't have as much time for each other and its not just us anymore.
I'm pretty sure its all normal, and its nice to know that other people have the freak out moments too
21-02-2013 13:43 #4
21-02-2013 13:45 #5
I have two older siblings age gap of ten and eight year plus a younger sibling who is 18months younger than me. I personally loved having older siblings - they have helped me through a lot and I (currently pregnant with my first - due in six weeks) am looking to have similar age gaps between my children (maybe not quite as big). I know my sister didn't like me at first but that was only because she took on a lot of responsibility with us two younger ones but that all changed.
I understand your doubts i only have six weeks and our bub will be here and i still have days of 'are we ready' 'am i going to be a good parent' 'what if something is wrong when he's born' and all that but im sure its all worth it - plus you've done it twice before I'm sure you'll be fine doing it again
Also as you and your husband decided to try for a baby - he's prob freaking out about the same things but im sure it will work our wonderfully
By MrsSparkle in forum Pregnancy & Birth General ChatReplies: 4Last Post: 23-05-2012, 07:22
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