MummaOJ - Seriously, no offence taken. I trust him a lot, we've been close friends for 8 years, and he's never been that type of guy, but then there's always that seed of doubt. That "Well, obviously I'm not coming first because XXX is a better place to be". We're talking about it now - I avoid confrontation at any cost so it's taken a lot to really bring it up. But right now I feel pretty crap.
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21-02-2013 13:23 #21
22-02-2013 13:40 #22
Just thought I'd update you all
DP and I had a big chat yesterday. I have a lot of trouble vocalising my concerns and so we ended up texting!
Turns out when he was talking about the Sydney contract, he was just telling me about it! When I told him I couldn't have us apart for 5 years, and this 12 months would hardly matter if it wasn't so long all up. He had no idea what I was talking about!
He basically wants to get through his training, then come up here and look at his options from there He's thinking of staying in reserves but the Brissie reserves
As far as this 12 months goes, I did kind of dig my own hole there, but that said if we're looking at roughly 2 years I can deal. I told him (after really thinking about it) that he should take this year to do some stuff he enjoys that he won't have the chance to later. There are a couple of spots for a few month trip to the UK in a unit that his boss manages over there apparently, so he's looking in to that. He also booked tickets to come up here in just over a week, then he'll be back at the beginning of April.
I had a good think about it within myself. I trust him. I really do. I know who he is, I know him really well (like I said, very good friends for 8 years). I've heard about and seen his relationships with other girls. He's always been the nice guy that the girls don't really stick with or go for. He's always been so respectful, and considerate. He's the kind of person I always wished I could be with when I was with people like my ex. DP and I had just never been single at the same time. He waited 8 years for me to become available. He said he always wanted to tell me what Douchebags my exes were when I was with them (I'd always vent to him) but he respected my choice to be with them.
If it turns out that in 2 years he isn't worth it and doesn't follow through, then I'll happily eat my words. But in my heart and in my head (and my gut feeling!!!) he is genuine. I feel confident in this now after we spoke and went through my concerns. As soon as I got it off my chest I felt so relieved and relaxed!
Thank you to EVERYONE for your advice I really appreciate your honest answers and support
22-02-2013 15:24 #23
Oh I'm glad you had the chat with him I have done long distance before and it's tough. There's no denying that. But at the end of the day if you're meant to be together there's always a way to make it work.
I also think it's a fantastic idea for him to take that UK trip if he can. It'll look great on his record and definitely give him a leg up when he puts his hand up for a different deployment down the track.
It sounds like you're being realistic but hopeful, and I think that's the absolute BEST way to go into a relationship like that.
22-02-2013 16:42 #24
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