We are having #4 in August and I was the youngest of 4 myself. I like that my kids always have someone around to play with, although it can turn ugly pretty quickly at times.
There's no down time, washing never ends even just with 3 and being pregnant with 3 kids is just so damn hard some days (to the extent you can plan these things try and have the latter part of the pregnancy in winter - I'm only 13 weeks but summer has nearly killed me this time - I can't imagine being 8 and a half months!). I have had 2 summer babies and it was rough.
Holidays are hard we went overseas with the 3 in January and I cannot fathom doing it with 4, but we will as o/s travel is important to us. It will just happen less often and be expensive.
Educating can be expensive if you want to go private. I am not looking forward to trying to manage DD1's homework with a colicky newborn or the sleep deprivation and still having to do school runs, canteen duty etc.
But my kids are awesome. I can't wait to meet the next one.
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20-02-2013 21:04 #11
20-02-2013 21:05 #12
Large family.. Pros and Cons
I am pregnant with my sixth. My oldest child is 6.
It's crazy busy and I can tell you now that most people wouldn't be able to cope with it. My dh and I are very relaxed which helps. We also have plenty of money so can still afford to go out for dinner, go on holidays and send them to private school. That helps too.
I think before you have even had your first its a bit early for you to know for sure whether you want lots of kids or not. I only ever thought we would have two and now we will have six. On the other hand, I've got friends who were adamant they wanted five but stopped at two or three as they struggled.
20-02-2013 21:22 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
I am one of four and my husband is one of five (same mum and dad, but another older sister as well). I always said I wanted four kids but after my second I thought that was probably it for me (more to do with my marriage, but also I found it quite hard going from one to two). I wasn't sure tho, still kept the cot etc
Now we have 5 kids and I feel I could have more but my husband has put his foot down and said no more. Which I think is the 'right' thing to do, but I still feel very sad about it.
Like Chewthemintie said, I think the biggest thing for us is the holidays- its so expensive when you add up the airfares, the hire car (or two- as we had to do over Christmas) and nowhere accommodates families of 6+ unless you get two self-contained apartments or a big house ($$$).
I honestly don't feel my life has gotten harder with more, just busier. I love having my kids around me and hope they are all close like I am with my brothers and sister, and my husband with his brothers and sisters. Yep theres a LOT of washing but I wouldn't change it ever.
20-02-2013 22:55 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
21-02-2013 14:17 #15-
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Large family.. Pros and Cons
I love all of your answers! very realistic.
21-02-2013 14:49 #16
I LOVE large families! I would LOVE to have a large family. I come from a family of 4 kids and although there wasn't a lot of kids- it was fun. I onyl have DS but I wish he had heaps of siblings.
21-02-2013 15:09 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
-Holidays are expensive, cabins only cater for usually 5 guests.
-Extra curricular activities are expensive but if you limit 1 thing per child its not so bad
- Christmas costs a fortune
- Bdays cost a fortune,we do party's every second year
- Sibling rilvary ( depends on kids personality's)
- Eating out, take away, movies, airfares etc all cost more money.
- They eat alot
- They all have help with homework each night
- Lots of running around to different activities and playdates
- Did i mention they fight...a lot !!
- you have to drive a people mover
- They always have someone to play with
- They learn to share and socialize
- More people to share the household tasks
- Older kids can help out with younger kids
I dont find the washing that bad i do 1-2 loads a day
They eat alot of food but i manage by menu planning and baking alot
The morning rush can be done easily of you prepare the night before, i make lunches, set out clothes and bags etc all the night before.
Things that would make life easier,
Last edited by Blue Dragon; 23-03-2013 at 15:56.
21-02-2013 15:26 #18
I'm 1/3, I always wanted a bigger family too. I was the only girl and we moved city a lot, so I wanted what a PP has said in friends within family.
DH is 1/5 and he didn't like it. He said we could have 8 if we were really wealthy, but he resented how they had to go without because there were so many of them (there were often additional kids to their 5).
I'd like 4 + a bonus baby (can you plan a bonus baby?). He'd be happy with our current 2 to spoil.
Our kids are being schooled privately the whole way through, this might not be financially possible with 4-5 kids.
We're immigrants, so our kids have to travel overseas to see my parents/siblings, the more kids we have, the more unaffordable this becomes and the less we see them.
I have strong ideals about personal space and not room sharing, this obviously becomes difficult when you have more kids than bedrooms.
If you don't own your own home, renting with more than 2-3 kids can be difficult as there are policies about tenant capacities in homes, no matter how happy your kids are to share.
21-02-2013 15:53 #19
21-02-2013 16:25 #20
I have four children, but grew up an only child. I always craved more family, more people who were mine. I know not all siblings get along, and I know family members fall out with each other, but most that I see have each other's backs even if they don't always get along.
We were very close to having just one child, and in the end giving him a sibling was a big part of our decision to have another. Then another. Then another.
The washing is full on, yes. TBH #4 didn't make much of a difference, it was #3 that blew my mind. Somehow the addition of one more person tripled or quadrupled my washing. Until #4 I ironed almost everything, now I iron about 1/4 of what I did before. But I like washing, so no biggie.
Sickness was another thing I noticed... since #3 came along it seems there is almost constant illness in the house during winter. One gives it to the other, who gives it to the next one. It's made me incredibly glad that I don't work right now, because I would be calling in sick an awful lot. I hated that enough working with one child, I can't imagine how it would be with four.
Working is probably the biggest thing I'd encourage you to consider. Of course people do it, but it's hard. There's so much to organise with a large family, and that just gets more difficult if you throw a job into the equation. Is a career important to you? I won't lie, I miss mine and I'm sometimes a little resentful that it's been such a long time on the back burner. But it's my choice to be at home, and I'm grateful for that.
Which then leads to money. Will you be able to afford the education, after-school activities, clothes, holidays (the list goes on!) that you could afford if you only had one or two? And is that important to you? This year I am limiting my children to one after-school activity each, whereas in previous years they've had two. This isn't because of money, rather the fact that I need to cut back on all the running around I've been doing, but the fact is it's easier to spend more time and money on fewer children.
I love love love the fact that our children have such a big support network. I love that DD will grow up surrounded by people who love her, that she'll never doubt her place in the world. I love that my house is home to so many different personalities, talents, interests. And I love that I feel complete, with no doubts or what-ifs whatsoever; I said I didn't want to die wondering, and I certainly won't
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