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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011

    Default Did you tell the in-laws?

    Just wondering, did you tell the in-laws if you had fertility issues and how did they take it?

    We have only told my family at this point in time because they have always been supportive to us and never caused any drama in our life.

    The ILs are a different story. We are not sure about telling them (yet) for fear they might add more pressure, and I will be even less good enough for their son. (if you dont have children in this family you are somehow not considered important enough to stay in touch even). I have struggled many years for their acceptance. They are overbearing an opinionated enough as it is but part of me makes me feel really bad that we are not telling - I'm pretty sure the ILs have an inkling that we have been TTC since we have been married for 2 years. I just don't know whether DH and I should tell them because they have made everything else in our life such a big mess (our wedding plans/day, us moving etc, in the past I have heard BIL tell DH they did not care about me at all on the phone, and if we really need help we always get the cold shoulder despite the fact ILs are our only family nearby). Especially becuase the infertility issue is with me, not DH (I already feel guilty enough for DH I cant fall pregnant).

    DH pretty much doesnt want them to know but my conscience is nagging. But the thing is that I know they will make it so much worse if we do tell them.

    Did you tell your ILs and did it add more pressure? In our situation do you think we should or better not?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Did you tell the in-laws?

    I wouldn't tell them, but thats just me. Your private life is none of their business - you don't owe them anything!

    If you choose to share be prepared for the whispers... 😞

    PS: we didn't tell IL's until we were 10-12 weeks because IVF is a rough road - made tougher by the 'are you pregnant yet' and not knowing how long, how many cycles or if it will work.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Other side of the screen!
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Did you tell the in-laws?

    Why would you tell them if you overheard that they just don't care.

    Don't waste your energy especially when you know it will cause a big drama.

    Why feel bad about not telling them? Do they tell you every aspect of their medical issues?
    Or are you secretly hoping deep down inside that they might feel a bit of sympathy/empathy for you and be more considerate of your feelings? If this is what you're hoping for I honestly wouldn't waste my time.

    Put all your positive energy into your fertility issues and over coming them.

    Good luck!


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