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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    But by the OPs definition only winning and losing should be recognised, so by this definition people doing the right thing shouldn't be acknowledged (ie participating) and instead only acknowledging and rewarding those who excel and ignoring or punishing those who lose.
    No no, where is i say ANYWHERE that the 'loser' should be punished?? My children have won and lost (broad games mostly) and i would NEVER punish that. How rude of you to even imply that . If a child doesnt win, they sould be told they did well but next time if they work hard and commit themselves they may win. Not winning is NOT a punishment, its just LIFE!!

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    This is exactly the type of person you see in law all the time (male and female). People who have excelled at school / uni and constantly heard how great they are and then go into the workplace and are nightmares to work with . I've worked in offices where we had to lock our doors at night so other people didn't go through your files, lawyers so overworked they collapsed but wouldn't share the work around as it made them look weak or worse people who undermined you and white ant you if you succeed.
    This is crazy, and unhealthy and extreme. A great example of the wrong behaviours being rewarded.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycart View Post
    This is crazy, and unhealthy and extreme. A great example of the wrong behaviours being rewarded.
    Yes they get rewarded with bigger pay rises and promotions. Seriously, 20 years in law firms (2 of the biggest in Australia) didn't give me much hope except that younger lawyers coming through the system (often the products of parents who worked crazy hours and had failed marriages as a result) started to say "enough". Good on them.

  4. #84
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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Reward and encouragement are two very different things.

    Being rewarded (given a medal) when encouragement (next time keep running until the race is finished) is required is not helpful.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by MeetTheBluths View Post

    I think the issue I have with reward in this world is that we tend to reward certain things and behaviours and ignore (or even berate) others. You don't often see trophies at someone's house apart from sporting ones. Since when is sporting ability more important than everything else in life?!
    As I said earlier, I think it's healthy for the 'winner' or the 'best' to be recognised as such, but that effort should also be acknowledged just as much. More effort doesn't necessarily mean you will be the best, and its unfair to suggest the kids that aren't 'winning' just aren't trying hard enough.

    I really agree with the above quote, sporting and academic ability are very much celebrated in our culture, but what if you are the 'nicest' person, or the most helpful, the person who always makes new students/work colleagues feel welcome? What if you make the best nutritious meals for your kids every night, or volunteer one day a week, or anything else that improves society? There are no awards/rewards for that, other than feeling good about yourself.

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  7. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    I think this is a problem. The real world is supremely screwed up because of the idea that we must be the best while crushing anyone who gets in your way. I'd like to see better for the world.
    You see the world differently than I do because what I see is a lot people doing the minimal effort maximum reward more these days. Take for example having to work 15 hours for centrelink a week to get your payments many people work that 15 hours and thats it. Why not go for 40 hours a week or 30 hours a week? Why not put a ton of effort in even of the reward is small but will lead to bigger and better things?

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    You see the world differently than I do because what I see is a lot people doing the minimal effort maximum reward more these days. Take for example having to work 15 hours for centrelink a week to get your payments many people work that 15 hours and thats it. Why not go for 40 hours a week or 30 hours a week? Why not put a ton of effort in even of the reward is small but will lead to bigger and better things?
    I personally don't see 15 hrs pay and centrelink benefits as "maximum" reward...

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  10. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    You see the world differently than I do
    Yes I certainly do.

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