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  1. #1
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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Every single cartoon/kids show there is always a TIE at the end of a game/competition. Every child gets a 'participation' award even if they dont finish the race.

    What i see happening is we are teaching our kids that if they do the bare minimum they will be rewarded for it. We are teaching them that even if you do your best it wont be rewarded. As parents arentwe responsible for preparing our children for the real world.
    Someone please tell me what job rewards mediocity? Tell me what job in the real word will reward you for just showing up.

    This drives me crazy. Why is it not ok to make a big deal for that one child that has done their very best and come first/won. To me making a bit gdeal about being the best/winning should be ok, this will encourage others to do their very best and win.

    I would rather my childcome last and be encourged to improve than get an award for mearly showing up. I would rather my child be rewarded for BEING the best not be givien a PITY REWARD. Lets face it theses 'ties', 'participation awards' and 'every one gets an award' are just to make the children who dont do their best and show up feel good. What about the WINNER. Why should they not get treated like a winner???

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    I couldn't agree with you more. Society is setting these kids up for failure in the real world

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    I agree also. As parents we should be able to see what areas our children have potential to be great in and we can guide them towards that direction. Not every child will be awesome at swimming, basketball, essay writing or maths.

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    My Mum is a Kinder & Primary school teacher and she said that winners & losers is not a good concept for children under the age of 8. So, for parties/etc it is best that all children get a prize (eg. in pass the parcel) rather than the winner getting something. Children that young are still learning what it means to participate in a group environment and need to be rewarding for trying. In sports at school/etc they are very much still learning how to play and you don't want them discouraged before they've given it a decent try.

    But, it is important for children to learn it's ok to try & lose. That needs to be a safe, encouraging environment first (eg. playing board games at home) and then as they get a bit older is a more intimidating environment such as school. There's no question that older children should be given prizes for winning things. But, there's definitely still a place for encouragement awards, as some children will never win a prize in sport, but might make massive improvements and they should be praised. Does that mean every child should get something of equal value - no, I don't think so, cause that defeats the purpose of trying.

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    As an aside ive noticed that kids will pick up the concept of winning/losing regardless of how some are "protected" from it.

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Kids are exposed to winning and losing all the time.

    My kids watch abc 4 kids only, can't say I've seen much of what you've spoken about on there.

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    What about the poor child who NEVER wins and ALWAYS loses. They will never develop any self esteem or confidence which Are necessary qualities as a child gets older.

    I would prefer my child to get a "pity" award if it improved the way they felt about themselves. The thought of my daughters constantly being upset because there was always somebody that achieved higher or could do better than them breaks my heart. Everybody deserves to be recognised for something.

    IMO there is nothing wrong with it in moderation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    Every single cartoon/kids show there is always a TIE at the end of a game/competition. Every child gets a 'participation' award even if they dont finish the race.

    What i see happening is we are teaching our kids that if they do the bare minimum they will be rewarded for it. We are teaching them that even if you do your best it wont be rewarded. As parents arentwe responsible for preparing our children for the real world.
    Someone please tell me what job rewards mediocity? Tell me what job in the real word will reward you for just showing up.

    This drives me crazy. Why is it not ok to make a big deal for that one child that has done their very best and come first/won. To me making a bit gdeal about being the best/winning should be ok, this will encourage others to do their very best and win.

    I would rather my childcome last and be encourged to improve than get an award for mearly showing up. I would rather my child be rewarded for BEING the best not be givien a PITY REWARD. Lets face it theses 'ties', 'participation awards' and 'every one gets an award' are just to make the children who dont do their best and show up feel good. What about the WINNER. Why should they not get treated like a winner???
    I don't really get where you are coming from with this. It all seems a little bit OTT.

    Can you be more specific? Winning in what? Age of the children? What exactly is your gripe? It all seems very non-specific.

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    For younger kids, it is important that they feel safe to participate and try so i do agree with giving them encouragement awards is a valuable thing.

    As they get older and discover where their own talents lie, it does become easier for them to understand winning and losing as a good thing. They can understand that they won't be good at everything and that they can strive hard and do their best.

    I think it is important to not just want the schools to teach them that. I have let my DS start competing in tournaments for his chosen sport now he is over 8. He has experienced winning and losing at home in games etc and deals with it very well in a competitive environment now. He wants to win, but deals with lose gracefully. He is reasonably humble in victory too...he does celebrate but always compliments his opposition too.

    In the early years of school when they are looking to be part of the group, i think too much focus on "who the winners are" doesn't help anyone. It is something that comes with age...and from my experience kids start developing that skill around 8-10. Kids younger do need to experience it, but in a safe place where they are not going to be singled out by losing.

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    Default Why is it not ok for there to be winners and losers?

    Side bar- went to a soccer party last month run by Ginger Sport, a kids soccer crowd here in bris, and all the kids who participated in the games received a medal. That's awesome. What is NOT awesome is that my 7yo step child absolutely refused to participate for the whole 90 min session, complained bitterly about missing out on a medal when it was over, I told him that next time when he played too, he'd get a medal. It seemed like he learned a little lesson about being involved with other kids and having fun. WELL---- the mother of the birthday child went around and handed out medals to ALL the kids who chose not to participate. My DP and I were really annoyed that this lesson in joining in was undone! So yeah, I think that some times in life, kids need to learn about missing out, so that next time they actually try.


 

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