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  1. #1
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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    Do you feel there is any such thing as privacy in a relationship? How would you feel if your partner looked at your Internet usage, phone, emails without asking? How would you feel if your partner had passcodes/passwords on all their electronic gear(phone, iPad, computer) and they changed access and didn't tell you the new passwords?

    I'm not sure if I am overreacting to something that has happened or not and I wonder how other people feel about these things? Are they deal breakers?

  2. #2
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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    I feel there is to be a small margin o privacy in a relationship for things like let's say... Toiletting, bathroom activities 'pruning' yourself etc.

    Things like passwords etc there should be nothing to hide anyway so who cares?! IF my hubby suddenly changed them a denied me access I would ask questions.. But there should always be a level of trust that one wouldn't need to do that anyway!

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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    Something is off here. If hubby had a pass code on his phone etc I wouldn't care as he has done nothing to Make me not trust him. And we wouldn't need to give me the code as I wouldn't need to look at his stuff (Except for he laptop as we share it). If he went looking through my phone/email, even though I have nothing to hide I would tell him to F off.

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    I trust my DP more than anyone else in this world. I never remember his bloomin' passwords and have never 'checked' his phone.. it wouldn't occur to me TBH.

    With my ex I suspected cheating and yep, checked his phone. Glad I did or it may have been many more years I could have had to put up with infidelity.

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    I think that it doesn't matter what the privacy agreement is, as long as both parties are comfortable with.

    I have no issue with DH reading my emails/ phone, etc. or looking at any of my stuff without asking. I can't imagine him doing it without good reason though (e.g., fixing some tech problem, or trying to find out something). But he has access to everything that's mine, and there's nothing I have that's private from him.

    Same goes the other way. He regularly changes passwords (as do I) as a security thing, and so I can't say that I know all the passwords to everything he has - but I know that if I needed to get in to something he would give me the password and be happy for me to use it. I wouldn't expect him to tell me in advance, unless it was something I accessed regularly.

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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    A lot of things I log into, I very rarely log out so if DH for example goes to get on his Facebook i'm already logged in! I've got nothing to hide!

  8. #7
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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    DH has passwords to accounts I don't know. Like Facebook, twitter.. But I'm allowed to see them if I ask.

    DH knows my passwords to everything and I didn't feel like I needed "privacy" personally.

    I do have major trust issues with DH after discovering him doing some very questionable things and now expect him to let me look at all his accounts whenever I ask. It never used to bother me not knowing passwords but it does now, so I'd be massively p!ssed and suspicious if he changed them.
    Last edited by waterlily; 12-02-2013 at 15:32.

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    We have a degree of privacy here. We don't know all of each others passwords and don't feel the need to know. We completely trust each other so don't feel the need to have to know all passwords. The passwords of each others that we do know we don't use anyway. They aren't kept secret for any reason other than the other person doesn't need to know them. I would hate for DF go comb through my phone records or emails even though I have nothing to hide just as he wouldn't appreciate me checking up on him. To us if there is not 100% trust in the other person there is no relationship.

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    Works both ways. My partner and I have complete trust in eachother, and so we have privacy as well. I'd never look at his stuff coz I don't care, I know there's nothing going on.

    With an ex partner I once had, he was jealous as hell and always taking my phone off me, wanting to see an sms as it came in, wanting to know who I was talking to, what I was doing all the time. It drove me crazy and LED me to lie and with-hold information from him.

    I've never lied or kept info from DH because I've never felt pushed to, and I know he doesn't keep anything from me. He does plenty of stuff other women may not approve of, but it doesn't concern me at all and while he doesn't tell me every single thing he does or says, I know who he is and what he's like and it doesn't bother me.

  11. #10
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default Privacy in a relationship??

    It's taken a long time to get dp to ease up his 'Internet privacy' and he was being unfaithful.
    I don't like hiding things so if he wants to look through my things he can, very easily.

    Oh edit to add:
    Dp has a passcode on his phone but I know it, same with my phone and him. Our online passwords we don't know each others (but to be honest we have a hard enough time remember our own let alone the others'). I ask him if I'm feeling insecure if hell show me (led to a few fights but I now trust him again after he went astray) and he's never asked me and has snooped before which eh I don't care, but I'd rather he asks me to show him rather than snooping.
    Last edited by αληθη; 12-02-2013 at 15:41.


 

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