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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default what's with my in-laws?

    i think my in-laws are a bit strange. i love them dearly. however sometimes i just think some things they do are a little bizzare.

    Communiation - dh is one of 6, he has said to me that when he's with them, he doesnt know what to say to them. They can all go months on end without talking or seeing eachother, parents included. So when they catch up (it's usually beause of a birth, death or marriage), it's almost like it's been 'too long' and they just do small talk. They all get along, they are all lovely people. They just dont keep in touch too often....this bring me to my next point.

    Grandparents - want photos and updates of our kids. No problem! So once a mth i send emails/picture msgs and have actually sent them photos in mail. I never hear if they have recieved them, im never thanked, the photos/updates i send them are never talked about. Sooo? hrmmm. weird.
    i love dh's mum, we get along great. She 'somehow' keeps everyone somewhat connected and does make effort to get everyone together...but just never makes a comment about the photos and things i send to her? Once i said to her "this doll is her favourite..." then she said "oh yes, i know that, i saw it somewhere....."...ummmm yes probably in one of the emails I SENT YOU!!

    Gifts - for nieces/nephew we never hear if they recieved them, we never get a thanks. When we recieve gifts for our kids from them, im quick to send them a thankyou text only to never get a reply?...so did they get my text have i got the wrong number?? lol

    Ive told dh im really sick of all this. It's a bit immature of everyone and how about we make some effort and start doing regular day trips to go and visit his parents (who are 3hrs from us). I feel that his side are being left out of our lives?!? but they are not exactly easy to be included either. So it's upto us. Im also sick of making all the effort that's rarely returned. How hard is it to send a text letting me know their kid got our gift for her b'day?..oh and a thanks would be nice too.
    The same questions pop up everytime we see eachother and it bores me to tears.

    Are my in-laws a bit weird?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: what's with my in-laws?

    Lots of families are like that. Just don't let it get to you.

    My family are really close, we all live in the same town and see each other several times a week, including a weekly baked dinner that alternates houses. It just comes naturally to us.

    DH's family are close but not like this and I think DH's mum tries to emulate us a bit and because it's forced it's just not as comfortable. One example I can think of is one Christmas eve we were gathered around the TV watching the carols, everyone was in the lounge room except DH'S brother who was in his room. MIL went into his room and dragged him out insisting that he watch the carols with everyone, naturally he was very surly about this and sure enough that ruined the mood.

    I seemed to have gone off on a tangent there, but what I was trying to say is there's no point trying to force the family to be closer, it won't work. If it really bothers you that you don't hear back when you send photos or gifts then maybe stop sending them. There's no point making a huge effort if no one else is, especially if you don't enjoy their company any way.

    How does your DH feel about it? Does he want to spend more time with them? Less? Or is he happy with how it is? Ultimately it's his family and should be up to him how much effort he wants to put in.

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