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  1. #21
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    Default Tell me....is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'?

    I'm on here to answer questions or start threads stating my own opinion/experiences (in a polite way) but noticed others do not.

    I have no problem with anyone on here expressing their opinions on things ... Isn't that what a forum is for

  2. #22
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    Default Tell me....is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'?

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetsugardumplin' View Post

    My point is - it seems then when I express my opinion about something (and my opinion is not popular or others disagree) then I am accused of being all manner of things: high and mighty, arrogant, angry, the opposite of having empathy, `a perfect mother' laced with sarcasm etc.....
    :
    I don't think people are judging your opinion if they say the above to you, it feels personal. I would feel very hurt and flat if my opinion sparked someone to say I'm arrogant or on a high horse just because I feel a certain way about something. I would definitely feel attacked personally.
    An opinion is just that, it's not a fact and if you are stating facts you need to provide the evidence. Just a personal emotion about a topic like 'Im upset with Chrissie' is just your opinion and no one can tell you how you should feel about it ie. 'get over it who cares' because you do care and your allowed to.
    In a discussion you can go back and forth without using any of the above words in your quote. As soon as you do it's no longer a discussion, for me it will end.

  3. #23
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    Default is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'?

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetsugardumplin' View Post
    So tell me - is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'? And if not, please explain the difference - because I'm obviously missing something.
    In my opinion *snicker* an opinion is just that, until it is about someone else, then it becomes a judgment.

    You can have the opinion that the weather is too hot and obviously that's not judging anyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    In my view an example would be:

    (a) opinion - I don't like smacking and would never smack my children

    (b) judgment - parents who smack their kids are lazy, or cruel.
    Yeah, like that.

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using BubHub

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddlesAwait View Post

    It's very apparent to me that I'm part of this club that isn't conforming to the masses. Unfortunately I don't have enough faith that if I ever report an attack much would happen.

    OP you have hit the nail on the head with your post, I don't know how it works either and I'm sick of trying to work it out.

    I made the decision today to take myself off BH. I can't deal with the dynamics on here. I don't understand them. I'm hard enough on myself as a person and mother and I feel that this isn't the sort of environment I should be in and I'm better off seeking help from the people already in my life.

    This is the perfect thread to make this my last post.

    OP I hope you can get a better idea of how things work on here so you can continue to enjoy the forums and they can be of help to you when you need

    Bye all.
    If you report it and it is attacking the person will get an infraction and enough of those they get banned. Reporting does work heck even not reporting it works because the mods here are good at watching for attacks and do act on it.

  5. #25
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Default Tell me....is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'?

    According to Oxford, judgement is:

    "the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions."

    http://oxforddictionaries.com/defini...lish/judgement

    So it's hardly a negative thing; in those terms it becomes something I think we should always strive for.

    However it's usually only possible to make considered decisions, sensible conclusions, when we fully understand a situation. And when it comes to other people, I think it's rare that we actually have enough insight into their situation to make an educated judgement of them.

    Where people often make mistakes is when they form strong opinions without the full understanding required to back them up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I do feel however, that there is a small subsection on bh that deliberately rile people up and say things against the grain just to get a reaction. And then when people protest they cry foul and throw around " words like "bullies" or "cliques".
    See I don't always agree it's people trying to deliberately rile people up - I used to think that and there are a few posters who do put things out there and fess up to being intentionally provocative - but now I think some people just genuinely disagree with the majority view and aren't afraid to say it even though they get shot down.

    One poster commented recently that religion is one topic where certain views don't seem to be acceptable on BH. I think she was right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    See I don't always agree it's people trying to deliberately rile people up - I used to think that and there are a few posters who do put things out there and fess up to being intentionally provocative - but now I think some people just genuinely disagree with the majority view and aren't afraid to say it even though they get shot down.

    One poster commented recently that religion is one topic where certain views don't seem to be acceptable on BH. I think she was right.
    Unfortunetly if you have views or opinions that are not the popular one around here you get labeled a troll. I can see why people get fed up and leave but if they all left then there would not be much discussion other than

    "I think this"

    "agree"
    "agree"
    "agree"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Unfortunetly if you have views or opinions that are not the popular one around here you get labeled a troll. I can see why people get fed up and leave but if they all left then there would not be much discussion other than

    "I think this"

    "agree"
    "agree"
    "agree"
    Thats a good point actually

  12. #29
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    Default Tell me....is forming an opinion and expressing that opinion - the same as `judging'?

    I think it's important to understand that in most cases, someone arguing with you on here is not personal. Even if they seem mighty annoyed with you, they're usually just annoyed with your opinion or you misinterpreting theirs or something.

    There are many members on here ill disagree with and debate frequently... But nobody ever takes it personally or cries foul because of it.

    I know that I don't change my response to a thread just because my opinion will be unpopular. I will state it regardless... But when I know it's going to be unpopular I've got to prepare for the fact that I'm going to be quoted and argued with. It's not personal, because the same people will quote and agree with me in other threads on other issues.

    I don't go around agreeing with everyone on here as if we are in a little clique... I just agree with those who I actually do agree with on that particular topic. I'm just fortunate that a lot of long term members seem to have similar views at the moment.

    It changes though. A few years ago it was super left in here... Now it's got a fair bit of balance between left and right compared to then. So really, you can say that bhers are all one way but it really just depends on the regular posters of the moment.

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  14. #30
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    So this is how I see it:

    Opinion - I disagree with CIO, it just doesn't feel right for me as a parent and we don't do it.

    Judgment - A parent that uses CIO is lazy and it's tandemount to child abuse.

    Opinion - I believe breast feeding is the best for baby and plan to always strive to bf where possible bc of the numerous advantages.

    Judgement - Bfing is best, but women just don't try hard enough. Sure it's hard but a good mother will always push thru even when it's hard rather than giving up at the first sign of trouble.

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