I will arrange a time to talk to her teacher about it all. Last year she came so very far that I don't want to go backwards this year.
Your last paragraph I think sums it up for me.
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04-02-2013 14:22 #21
04-02-2013 14:25 #22
This is what I was taught and did when I worked with pre-schoolers. Her teacher last year was like this and as such DD responded with trust. This is also how I deal with her at home. There is no point pushing when they are upset better to wait when they are calmer.
Maybe I should change the way I speak with her or something
Maybe it is something to do with being in year 3 or something.
Last edited by PomPoms; 04-02-2013 at 14:29.
04-02-2013 14:48 #23
04-02-2013 14:50 #24Senior Member
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- Aug 2009
I think that it is reasonable for the teacher to expect the child to tell her what the problem was and not the parent. I make sure my DS is the one who talks to his teacher about things and not me (he is 8 and in year 3 too) because the "homework contract" is between them and it is his responsibility to remember his things not me or his dad.
I would have dealt with it differently...i would have spoken to him on the way to school and told him how to approach it with his teacher rather than speaking for him.
Year 3 is the beginning of a different stage at school and they do need to learn to speak up and also to deal with good and bad situations. I am sure if she explained to the teacher, she would hve been understanding and supportive.
I am glad our homework week goes over the weekend as we simply do not have time during the week to get it done. Normally, DS does his homework on a sunday morning...we do get little bits done during the week but not much.
As for building her resilience...it takes practice and support. It takes understanding that there are consequences and that she can handle those consequences (ie staying in to catch up at recess or doing the sheet again at home). Resilience is so important and so is veracity...being able to tell the truth (even if it will get you in trouble) and it is at this age when they have to stop relying on mum and dad to do the talking for them.
I would be discussing possible outcomes before she goes into a situation like that...not blaming her dad for forgetting the item (it is hers and not his) and reminding her that 1 mistake does not define her and that she must respect the teachers decision on the "punishment" for not doing it. Remind her that you love her no matter what and 1 forgotten sheet does not change that.
mostly, work with the teacher and not against her. I will always back the teacher and then support DS with what he needs to do. Work out the teachers expectations and then help your DD meet them.
Unless there has been a huge issue where DS has been punished unfairly or based on a false accusation...i will not try and overrule the teacher. The teacher needs to have the same rules for their whole class and as long as this is applied fairly then I need to respect that. It is also resilience on your part...to trust your DD to handle it and not rush in and save her.
04-02-2013 15:21 #25
Re: Resilience in young girls (primary school)
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04-02-2013 15:28 #26
This has nothing to do with teaching resilience. Teaching resilience is about processing your feelings, thinking about the outcome through talking and then making a choice about how to move forward. The teacher hasn't done any of these things. It doesn't sit very well with me and I've worked with lots of kids with confidence issues.
I would go back and speak with the teacher about your concerns.
04-02-2013 15:46 #27
I think I will watch and see how she goes. I am hoping that teacher's have access to information on the children they are teaching so that I don't have to re-tell the situation surrounding my children.
Although their principal is away for most of the term and he knows the entire situation and it would be best for him to tell the teacher I guess.
She seems okay this afternoon. We have had a bit of a chat, and she says she is going to try and talk to the teacher herself in the future.
If something is upsetting her it usually comes out at bedtime or before school the next day. So I will wait and see I guess.
Thank you everyone!!
04-02-2013 15:49 #28
04-02-2013 16:00 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Resilience in young girls (primary school)
I would have said politely that I am her parent and its my job to teach her resilience. You're her teacher you teach her school work. Stupid way to handle an 8 year old child. Poor little poppet and poor you for worrying about her all day.
04-02-2013 16:28 #30
I think that teacher was out of line.
It's not her job to 'teach' resilience - it is an innate quality and is the job if parents, not teachers IMO!
I too was particularly sensitive at that age due to life circumstances and needed the adults around me to be more loving (they weren't). I was stressed enough and I can understand why you DD felt upset about not having her worksheet and having to deal with the confrontation.
I reckon some people get into teaching so they can power trip - and she sounds like one of those people... How dare she be so insensitive! Grrr
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