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  1. #21
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    Default Re: How many years apart is too much?

    With my siblings and I there's a 7 year gap between number 2 and 3.

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  2. #22
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    Default How many years apart is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by semrau View Post
    Thanks so much for your responses, definitely has given me more confidence.

    I think the main thing I was concerned about was how they would interact when they're kids and later on in life

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    My little sister is 8 years younger than me, I loved having a baby to play with and I'm sure it helped Mum that I knew how to be gentle and play with her without having to worry. Now I'm older and she's still in Primary school we are still close. She sleeps over, is great with my son, and we talk about a lot of private things.

    On the other end I have sisters and a brother much older than me and we have great relationships aswell. They've always been there for me and are great for advice!

    The big age gaps have a different kind of feel to the relationships compared to the one with my sister who is only 2 years older, personally I find them great. No reason why when the time is right for you it won't work out nicely

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  4. #23
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    Someone once told me that you can't have kids for your other kids (ie. just for sibling factor) because they're not always going to get along or be close.
    I think this is true.
    I agree with sassymummy that it depends on the individual not the gap.
    Whenever you have the next one needs to be the right time for you, and as siblings their relationship will be what it is and will change over the years too.

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    feelinglucky  (23-01-2013),semrau  (24-01-2013)

  6. #24
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    just over 6 years between my 2 and it is awesome!

    live your life...you'll know if/when you are ready

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  8. #25
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    Default How many years apart is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Someones Mummy View Post
    Someone once told me that you can't have kids for your other kids (ie. just for sibling factor) because they're not always going to get along or be close.
    I think this is true.
    I agree with sassymummy that it depends on the individual not the gap.
    Whenever you have the next one needs to be the right time for you, and as siblings their relationship will be what it is and will change over the years too.
    We had this baby (pregnant now) for DD. Me and DH could have had only one but she longed for a sibling.

    I put it off until DD was 3. I wanted to push it until 5 but she was clearly not coping being an only child so we decided to just do it. We are all really happy now!! I'm very excited for this baby to come but we did ultimately have this baby for DD.

    I think it really depends on the child AND the parents. I refused to have any gap under 4 years because I didn't want to be looking after 2 babies and I'm SO glad me waited!!

    You will know when the time is right. Don't force yourself into a decision your unhappy with.

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  10. #26
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    My sister is five years older than me and she has 13 years between her two!

  11. #27
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    Default How many years apart is too much?

    Mine are almost 7yrs apart, I don't have siblings and always knew I would for that reason have a number 2, I always thought it would be 3/4yrs but it ended up being more, I don't regret it at all, most people told me the gap was to big. I don't find that at all I like that I have one on one time with each child.

    I believe that once they're adults the age gap will have nothing to do with how close they are. I'm sure it'll depend more on they type of people they are.

    At the moment they're like chalk and cheese, it amazes me how different they are in every way, yet they absolutely adore each.

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  13. #28
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    Default Re: How many years apart is too much?

    My eldest step son has just turned 18, the other one is 16 - so the age gap will be very significant by the time #1 decides to show up. It's a very different scenario though, especially since the boys don't live with us.

    My sister's eldest is 9 this year and there is 5 years between her and 2 of 4. The others are really close together in age. My niece loved being mummys little helper for the first baby, but with the others around now, she is sick of constantly being asked to do things because mummy is changing one of the babies, or feeding it or something. By the time my sister has put all the kids to bed she's exhausted and has no time to pay special attention to the eldest.

    I saw this happen too with a neighbour, the eldest was on his own for quite a while and begged his mum for a playmate, but he soon got tired of getting the least amount of attention when the next 5 kids came in quick succession!

    Having a gap of 4+ years can make things easier in some ways, but whatever the gap, the older one still needs their share of attention and affection.

    Btw, I'm the youngest in my family, so these thoughts are from my observations as an adult.


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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  15. #29
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    Default How many years apart is too much?

    .
    Last edited by bubbert; 18-01-2016 at 18:53.

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)

  17. #30
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    I only have a 4yr gap between mine, and it's too early to tell how it'll go as my youngest is only 4 months.

    But sometimes I wish I had a slightly larger gap so my eldest was in school so I don't have to entertain them both during the baby period.

    Then sometimes I wish they were closer, as my 4yo would love a playmate at home now as he's been craving social company for the last 6 months or so.

    But I think with gaps, they are what they are, depending on circumstances. If you are keen to have another baby, then I wouldn't worry about the gap, and just have it when you are ready as there are no guarantees they will or won't get along based on a certain gap anyway.

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    semrau  (24-01-2013)


 

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