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  1. #1
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    Default Stop being a selfish tool......

    Ok.....i cant sleep.....ive been rather stressed and short tempered lately ... For various reasons , family illnesses and house repairs wont bore with the details..but anyway ive been out of sorts.....today i mentioned to my charming dh that we need to look at saving some dollars and cutting back over the next X number of months.....im going back to work in april....this was going to be 3 days a week but as my dad is ill he and his wife are unable to look after dd one day a week so i will only put her into daycare 2 days as planned . im not comfortable with more than that at her age. So, i said to dh ' need to look at what were spending etc" ....a) we can drop our mortgage repayments a little tiny bit which is good, b) ds wont ned to go into care 3 days a week now either....but c) i suggested that dh could look at cutting back how much he gives himself for " play money" each pay...currently its around the $500 mark....ekkkkk i know its a big ...outrageously big . several times i have asked in the past does he really need that much money....like come on ffs. He is in this stupid punters club and he pays 100 each fortnight as they bought 2 horses...come on u are NOT bart cummings...one of the horses dropped dead on its first run ...so yes quality stuff..not. a small amount goes to his union fees..Anyway...talk about having a face like a slapped a$$ when i suggested he could maybe drop his play money...im so over it...its fruggin selfish..i honestly think he would rather see our kids in care and me work that extra day....he said " i work 6 days some weeks" ..silly me thought he was doing that for extra money for us not just himself so he can justify this absurd waste of money.....we could really do with this money as not only will i be earning less but weve had some massive house expenses recently.....honestly so what if he works 6 days some weeks...i used to always use some of my play money on groceries etc every single pay, he doesnt....selfish selfish selfish.....what do i need to say / do etc for him to get it....really peeved. ....

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Stop being a selfish tool......

    Holy hell $500 play money a week is crazy! DH and I get $50 each per week!!

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    Default Re: Stop being a selfish tool......

    Wow $500 is so much! That's like our mortgage lol could you just transfer the money before he can get to it? Sorry he's being so selfish :-(

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    Default Stop being a selfish tool......

    $500 a week??? Omg! My DH could only dream of that. Long ago before we were together and he was single he gave himself $300 a week. He remembers those days fondly now as some weeks we both get nothing and some weeks it's $50 each if we can afford.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable at all by asking him to cut back. Looking after kids is a 24/7 job!

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    Maybe you need to talk about what your goal are and what your priorities are and see how you can achieve that with your income. Try to avoid being the one to say that his play money has to be cut, but let him see where most of the *fat* is that has to be cut.

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    I agree it's way too much 'play money' he needs to be more realistic, expecially because it's not really 'play money' if there is a need for it somewhere else.
    Id be careful tho how you approach this as he is bound to be defensive about it, also it's probably hard for him as he might 'lose face' with the mates if he's all of a sudden on a tight budget.
    Id just do what I'd need to do... if you dont want to put the kids in care don't stay home and when he realises his play money is really needed he'll just have to cut back, this way you're only enabling him by making sure you cover the difference iykwim...

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    Default Stop being a selfish tool......

    $500 per week/fortnight/month?

    How old is your bub and what is so wrong about daycare that bub can't spend more than 2 days in daycare?

    Perhaps (depending on what time period the $500 relates to) your hubby is wasting too much money. When you negotiate him down though you will have to acknowledge his hard work earning the $$.

    Sorry I know this sounds anti SAHM and that's not my intention. But I think if Mums want significant control of the purse strings then where possible they need to contribute more than 2 days worth of earning power to the household.

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    Default Re: Stop being a selfish tool......

    We get $50 each per week!

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    Default Stop being a selfish tool......

    We used to get $200 a week and that's because we have no kids. We will be cutting back to $100 a week each in the next coming weeks.

    I think it's more than enough for clothes, restaurants, alcohol, gift and what not.

    PS my mortgage would be the very last thing I would look at reducing. If anything I would try to INCREASE repayments...

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    Default Stop being a selfish tool......

    $500 a week?, obviously don't know your full situation but would it be better to put some extra on the mortgage? Maybe just sit down and have an honest talk, explain where you are coming from and show you are willing to compromise. You'll figure it out think venting to others always helps!!!!!


 

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