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  1. #91
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    Regarding the secret account for Sahm I don't actually have a problem with this. When people break up (if they do) then a lot of the times the women has nothing to fall back on.
    You should have some money to have bond, home loan, food, etc
    There are a lot of women who are left with nothing and end up in shelters or their parents places or worse stuck in a bad relationship.
    Its all well and good to say my husband will never do that but in a lot of cases the breakups are not sunshine and roses and being financially depended on a man you are leaving or has left you is a bad idea.
    By the time you start spliting assets or going through court you might be homeless.
    It has nothing to do with trust or love.
    Everyone starts relationships with the best intentions no one plans to break up but the reality is that many women end up with very little.
    And then there is the children to consider.

    It's like life insurance your not planning on dying at 40 but you are protecting your children in case it happens.

  2. #92
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    I heard a story of a retired couple who always separated their money. His money would pay the mortgage and her money would pay the expenses and they never ever shared money, it was very black and white for them.

    Once the mortgage had been paid off, all of 'his' money remained 'his' and she had to continue paying for ALL the expenses from 'her' money.

  3. #93
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    We have separate banking accounts, I have a mortgage on my own and we also have a mortgage together for the family house (two houses).

    We are also a separate accounts but pooled resources type family. It's mostly through sheer laziness of having to sort out direct debits, pay from work and other sources etc as we've both had our original accounts since we were in uni so there are way too many things linked up to them.

    We also have the "my card or yours" questions at the checkout, and mostly decide by juggle spends on each card to make sure we cover everything at the end of the month. If either looks to be drawing up short we just patch funds across to each other with no expectation of being paid back because it is shared, just happens to be split across two accounts.

    And while it's not a formal discussion as such, we do also chat about how much we have accumulated in our banking accounts and transfer as much as we can each afford into the joint mortgage (predicting how many bills will come in etc), mostly because we're trying to lower our mortgage as much as possible before baby arrives and my income drops away. We'll be re-financing it at that point to reduce the minimum monthly repayment as we've paid off a big chunk of the principal in the last few years.

    When bubba comes, I will still get rental income from the place I owned before we met, which will be spending money enough for most day-to-day groceries etc, and if I run short DH will send some across. He'll take up most of the insurance/rego/power etc bills from that point on.

    As for big purchases, anything over ~$500 gets discussed at a "council" meeting, which we just do naturally anyway, again no rules we both just respect each other to run it by the other before jumping on in and buying something. haha we both still feel like we need to "confess" anything over $100 anyway, just because we both are working so hard and want so badly to kill this mortgage!!

  4. #94
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissusMac View Post
    I heard a story of a retired couple who always separated their money. His money would pay the mortgage and her money would pay the expenses and they never ever shared money, it was very black and white for them.

    Once the mortgage had been paid off, all of 'his' money remained 'his' and she had to continue paying for ALL the expenses from 'her' money.
    Pfft.. F that.

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  6. #95
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    All our finances are joint and have been since we fell pregnant with our DD.

    I don't think I could be bothered with having to figure out who pays what and have to discuss things like bills, presents, outings etc. Works for us just having it all in the one place.

    Most of our friends have separate accounts though. Seems like it's pretty common these days

  7. #96
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    No, we have one bank account and I am the family treasurer/accountant. DP rarely manages cash, as he's ****e at it.
    If there is something an individual wants to buy we have to budget for it (money is always tight-ish) so it's always a joint decision. That will probably extend to the kids as well when they are of age because I love the idea of them absorbing money management skills.

  8. #97
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    DH and I have been together since high school, so we got our first joint account when I was about 18? Then we got joint PHI when I was 19, had DD at 21 and got our mortgage a couple of years later. So really we have never had separate accounts.

  9. #98
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    With those with separate accounts and kids how do you work out paying for your child's things - my SIL for example has a lot of trouble with this - if she say buys the girls s new dress or we see something on sale that they like she buys it with her money and depending what it is her husband decides whether or not to go halves ? She bought them some dresses on sale last week and he said he is not paying half as it was not a necessity and if she liked them she can pay for them!
    It's not really an issue, it is still our money whether it is my account or not. I have my account, it pays most of the bills, our joint account pays mortgage.

    My husband has his own business account as he is his own company and any spending for business is used on that card.

    I control the money anyway, I pay the bills, I do the budgeting.

  10. #99
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    We just use either account at any given time mine, his which ever has money in it at the time. That the difference between mine and yours, or mine and yours but ours. Make sense?

  11. #100
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    Separate, just never saw reason to change with all the direct debits. I work part time and pay for some bills, Dh the rest.

    as for paying for "half" of a dress I find that quite strange - surely it would be a discussion of either curbing spending, or if wifey needed money to cover purchases then to have Dh top up her account. Calculating "half" a dress is OTT.


 

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