In 8 years I've bagged out ex twice and after it I felt really really bad!
Usually I'm always making excuses of why dd can't see him but after a while I get sick of defending him! I agree you shouldn't do it as that is her dad but sometimes all the 'why can't I see him' ' why isn't he here' 'why can't I go there ' why doesn't he love me' gets a little to much! She had him every day for years and now it's once a week for a few hours, it's hard! Especially when she's telling me she hates me and wants to live with him.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 21 to 30 of 33
20-01-2013 01:10 #21
Don't bag the other parent
20-01-2013 01:16 #22
I agree that the child doesnt need to hear other peoples negative opinions of their parents and see no positive in doing so.
20-01-2013 07:00 #23
I 100% agree with this article.
i have not and never will bag out DDs dad. However, DD regularly comes home saying daddy said this and SM says that etc. one day she came home and told us that daddy and SM said that DH is fat (which he isnt). What the??!
not only does it mess with her head but as she gets older she is going to resent being told nasty things about the other parent as it will upset her.
20-01-2013 09:17 #24
Don't bag the other parent
20-01-2013 09:30 #25
Completely agree, ex's should never bag each other to, or around the kids. My experience is that as the kids get older, they work out mum or dad is an idiot, no criticising needed by the other parent.
Kids are smart. They work things out on their own
20-01-2013 13:42 #26
20-01-2013 13:56 #27
Agree, and luckily so does DD's Dad. It's something he feels very strongly about - his parents split up because his father's alcohol and gambling addictions destroyed their lives. He says that despite that, his mother never said a bad word about it in front of him, and he appreciated that immensely.
20-01-2013 14:39 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I have never bagged out my ex, shame he doesn't give me the same courtesy. It hasn't affected my relationship with DS.
The only issue I have is that XDP so very rarely sees DS, his own choice, and DS will often ask why. I do not believe I should have to lie for anyone, even if it is his father. So yeah I do tell him we have to wait for his dad to contact us for a visit. Really not sure what else I can do, I am not going to lie for him and say it's me stopping him from seeing his dad because it's simply not the truth.
20-01-2013 14:46 #29
I don't think lying for the other parent should be expected. Criticising and telling facts are 2 seperate things. I think if the kids ask, you give them facts. Like 'why doesn't dad want to see me? ' bc he hasn't worked out how important you should be to him'. Rather than 'bc he's a jerk'.
There is no point lying to the child anyway. As I said, they work out the parent is infact a jerk anyway lol But they will come to that decision on their own.
20-01-2013 15:32 #30
I don't lie to DD either. I think it's about as bad as saying mean stuff tbh. A child will be much more disappointed, IMO, when they realise all those lies aren't true.
DD used to ask why her father didn't call. Why he didn't see her. Why he had another baby when he had her (THAT was a hard one to not get angry about - I wanted to say, "BECAUSE HE'S IS A PR*CK! It's NOTHING to do with you - he is just a sack of sh*t!" but you know, not exactly a good idea... lol). I'd just say, "I'm not really sure honey, and I know it's not very nice for you. Maybe when he does call, you can ask him that."
Then he just didn't call... so she never got to ask him... and she's kind of just assumed he's a d*ck on her own. She's never said it in those words, but when she DOES bring him up, I think it's clear that's what her view of him is.
By Ellewood in forum Single ParentsReplies: 44Last Post: 23-11-2012, 09:51
By Zombie_eyes in forum General ChatReplies: 24Last Post: 15-04-2012, 08:51
By Caviar in forum Issues with Family MembersReplies: 15Last Post: 05-02-2012, 22:38
KindyROOKindyROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Happiness thread.General Chat
Lite & Easy ???Second Trimester Chat
The Vampire Diaries LAST EPISODEMovies / Music / Books / TV Chat
Egg Donation in Greece #5Egg Donation
A - Z of baby girl namesGames & fun stuff
Placenta distance for natural birthThird Trimester Chat
Come chat, Ladies who are 40+ TTC or ExpectingConception & Fertility General Chat