Hi, just came across this as I am lurking in limbo at the moment. Last week I lost my IVF baby at 16 weeks and all I can think about is trying again, but like this thread mentions I am petrified that I have used up all my IVF luck.
I have an appt with my FS on 20th may so might join a month group then once I know if we can cycle or not.
Did you find counseling helpful? I am just not sure what I would say to them or what they could say to me? The hospital has assigned me a social worker so I guess I will see how that goes, but am wondering about the counsellors at Genea too.
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10-05-2013 16:53 #11
10-05-2013 17:32 #12
Bedlover so sorry to hear about your loss. I saw your name at the beginning of your journey. It's the hardest time to go through especially after trying with IVF.
I see a councillor at Sids & Kids. I like that she is not biased towards IVF. She listens and asks questions about why I behave and feel the way I do, which gives me a better understanding about myself to get through this hurdle. It won't cure your sadness. I continue to see her as she is helping me through the struggles of infertility, helps with the decisions made for next steps and how it's affecting all areas of my life.
I was like you, asking about the next time you can try IVF again to give you back some hope. Hopefully you can try again soon x
Last edited by Rachael3; 10-05-2013 at 17:38.
10-05-2013 17:50 #13
Rachael, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You have been through so much, I hope you find the strength to carry on if that is what you want.
Bedlover, I saw a counsellor at Genea. Her name is Evelyn and she is wonderful. Of course she can't fix what's happened but she did help me get a few things straight in my head. Maybe give her a call.
10-05-2013 18:17 #14
Bedlover so very sorry for your loss. I lost a baby girl at 15 weeks and know how hard it is to face the fears of another pregnancy - even though its something we want so badly. I also had all those weird and not so wonderful thoughts about maybe I'm not meant to be a mum, maybe it's a sign, I won't be able to get pregnant again etc. having friends and family around who are supportive is wonderful but its also difficult to understand unless you've felt it. Counsellors are great but I also found reading helped as I could do it in my own space and time. There's a book called Pregnancy after a Loss by Carol Cirulli Lanham that may help. Otherwise, time does help - an old cliche but one I've found to be true. I'm onto donor eggs now - something that required another big decision and a path I didn't imagine at the beginning of this journey I'd take. I guess what I'm saying is do whatever you need to do to get through this painful time and be kind and gentle on yourself with all that you think and all that you do. Lots of support here for you when you need it. Just shout out.
10-05-2013 19:32 #15
Thanks ladies. I am really nervous about talking to a counsellor as I don't know what to do / say, but I guess they help get things started.
It is really tricky for us support wise, as our best friends were in the same hospital on the same day delivering their full term healthy and perfect baby. It is hard for all of us... The birth of their son will forever be linked with the loss of our baby. I am really happy for them but can't help feeling sad, and I can tell they are down playing their joy so as not to hurt our feelings which is really uncomfortable for us.
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