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  1. #31
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Others... Not sure maybe 15?
    Wow really? That is surprising. That seems very long in the tooth to be starting sleep overs.
    Just my opinion....not being mean or whatever. Thats a surprised comment, not an attacking one

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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    DS is now 8.
    He first stayed at my mother and stepfathers house when he was 6weeks old. That became a fortnightly sleepover for a long time.
    He has cousins who are a year older than him so from the age they could start playing together (probably just past 1yr) we would do lots of sleepovers...they would come to our place and DS would go to their place. Sometimes we would be present (have dinner and stay the night etc.) other times we wouldnt be (we would get to go out for the night).
    DS has slept over many people houses and to be honest I have never really thought about sexual abuse. He has stayed at people I dont know THAT well (school friends) a few times and has always had a blast and has had nothing sinister to report back.
    I do hope none of his friends parents are worried when their kids come to stay here....honestly never considered it.

    You could start out with play dates first and invite parents for a coffee etc. before being 100% comfortable with a sleep over if you are worried.

    I did similar with my son. He stayed with family and family friends as a toddler, and school friends probably from prep. We had kids sleep over with us as well.

  3. #33
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    I guess it really depends on your childs experience with other children from a very young age. Like I said, my DS was away from me every second weekend from 6weeks of age, so I was ok with him not being in my company 24/7. Then every time we visited friends or family they had a baby roughly the same age, so DS socialized well and we knew the people for years anyway so trusted them to have DS overnight, as they trusted their kids with us.
    PLUS I worked in child care for years before having DS and would babysit some of those kids often....some overnight at either my place or theirs.
    I guess all that makes it easier for me to allow DS to stay at other not so well known peoples houses for the night. I would NEVER let him stay with someone I didnt know at all, but I have made good friendships with some parents who I didnt know that well until the kids started sleepovers in school years.

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    DS often stays with his grandparents. He is staying with my dad tomorrow night. He absolutely loves it. As for staying with friends he can when he asks to as long as we know the parents. We aren't ones for wrapping DS in cotton wool and not letting his enjoy normal childhood things. I wont be letting my fears rule what DS can do.

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    My DD used to stay her her dads (in a share house) at the age on one for one night, one of the people living in the house were her godfather and the other was a female and she was a close friend so no issues there, now the kids dad loves with his mum and dad so not worried about that.
    The only other place that she stays is at her friends house and her friend has sleep overs here too. I have known her mum for 10 years and the girls have been friends since before they could walk lol (they are 4 now). For other people other then my autie or cousins, and of course my mum and dad. I wouldn't leave them overnight with anyone

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    There is a lot of info out there now to help you arm your kids with the right tools. Even kids story books etc.

    I guess people could call me naive and abuse has not impacted my life. But I hope to arm my children with as much information as possible, prepare them for what isn't appropriate etc. but I don't want my fears and concerns to negatively impact their lives.

    DS was approx 1 when he spent his first full night away from us/home. There had been a lot of other incidences where I'd put him to bed and gone out while he was babysat at grandparents or aunts/uncles (his home or theirs) and I came back later that night. His only full night sleepovers where with my Mum. But he recently stayed with friends of ours for the first time. They have older kids who have also slept at our house.

    Most weekends I had sleep overs with friends from later primary school, so maybe 10ish?

    ETA: DS is 3

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    I wouldn't until maybe grade 4.. Any earlier than that I would let kids stay over my house but not ds at theirs unless I knew the parents.. Both of them.. Pretty well

    If someone came up to me in the school yard who I had just been walking past each day and said her son wanted mine to sleep over I would def say no but they can have a play date at the park or something..
    The pp who said they offered that and got ignored I kind of agree with the mum he prob saw a red flag in her eyes like why a sleep over when I don't know you at all?
    But was nice of u to offer the coffee first etc I would take that up but yeh she may be super cautious and just got freaked out by your request

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    Wow really? That is surprising. That seems very long in the tooth to be starting sleep overs.
    Just my opinion....not being mean or whatever. Thats a surprised comment, not an attacking one
    I'm really not sure how things will pan out. Could be 13 could be 15. I don't envisage DS having friend sleepovers while his a child though. I've seen too many cases where 'good' people have skeletons in their closets...

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I'm really not sure how things will pan out. Could be 13 could be 15. I don't envisage DS having friend sleepovers while his a child though. I've seen too many cases where 'good' people have skeletons in their closets...

    I do hope you meet some people who are trustworthy enough for your DS to be trusted with. Sleepovers are fun!

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    I know that for me, sleepovers were the best part of my teenage years. I definitely won't be preventing them for DD, unless I think the people living in that home are not fit to take care of my child safely.


 
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