I'm not sure where to start & not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes... Basically I have some long-term health issues & haven't worked in ages. About 5 years ago I did get to a stage where I was doing quite well & the choice was between trying to get back into work or trying to get pregnant. So we went the pregnancy route. I've been TTC all that time, did my 4th IVF cycle & got BFN November last year. IVF has taken such a toll on me healthwise (I've had OHSS, internal bleeding & an ectopic) & my existing health conditions have been really bad over Christmas & New Year. One of the symptoms is dizziness/vertigo & I had a fall last week which has really dented my confidence & sent my anxiety levels sky high. I know I have to rest now to try to get back to a manageable state but I just feel so useless. I don't bring in any money (but I do cost a lot to keep!), I have failed to have a child, the house is a mess because in my present state I can't keep up with the housework & I keep fearing that my partner will leave me (he says he won't). I feel like I have wasted most of the last 5 years & ruined my health for nothing. I think I have just lost hope for the future at the minute & am having difficulty seeing things getting better. Logically I know it should get better as I have had spells like this before & then have improved physically & emotionally but I just can't make myself believe it's going to happen this time if you know what I mean? Anyway, that's about it - thanks for reading! Is there anyone else who has long-term health condition/s & struggles too? Any strategies for coping?
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07-01-2013 14:59 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
Feeling down, sick & useless (bit of a vent!)
07-01-2013 15:30 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Big, big, big hugs you poor thing.
I can relate to a lot of what you have written. 12 months ago I was very sick and needed help caring for my children. It is HARD. Chronic illness is a tough battle.
I am probably about 50-70% well now, depending on the week. I wouldn't have believed it possible a year ago though.
I wish there was something I could say or do to help. Please PM me if you would like to chat to someone who gets it.
Hang in there sweetie, try not to think too far ahead. Just get through each day.
And be kind to yourself. Don't feel bad when you rest - it's what sick people need to do!!
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07-01-2013 17:00 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
Thanks so much for your reply OurLittleBlessing. You did help with your kind words Sorry to hear you have struggled with illness too but it is good to hear that you are doing better than 12 months ago & hope you will continue to improve. I'm trying to take your advice now & off to rest & not think too much!
07-01-2013 18:24 #4
You are not alone - I have an illness as well which has landed me in the hospital many times & I've had to rely on my DH & MIL to leave work & take me to the ER or take care of the kids - this has put a lot of pressure on our relationship & I've now had to put my 8 month old in daycare 4 days a week because when I have 'episodes' I almost can't function & I'm terrified of passing out etc when I've got her at home by myself - I'm now on anti depressants & I suffer horrible guilt & anxiety. There are good & bad days & u have to just do the best u can - support is very important & there's a light at the end of the tunnel I believe - feel free to pm me, I'm happy to chat. Good luck with everything
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